When are you going to stage dive into the mosh pit?

Do you sometimes wonder about how it feels to do something you will most likely never do? I often think about how incredible it must feel to stage dive. Can you imagine? You are feeling intoxicated by the atmosphere, you get up on stage and then simply faaaaallll back into the crowd and get transported around by a bunch of hands.

It kind of reminds me of those trust exercises we did at school, do you remember the ones where you did the 'crowd surfing' part of it in PE? The intent was to allow yourself to be quite literally in the hands of others. Unfortunately I experienced a bit of a fail once in high school, when we were blindfolded to be led around the room by a fellow pupil, and my partner drove me straight into someone else andI got a nasty black eye!

Sometimes we have to simply trust that everything is going to be okay. Another example of this is walking across the street in Ho Chi Minh City  in Vietnam. If you wait until there is a clearing in the traffic, you will quite literally be waiting for ever. And don't go looking for any crossings! Simply take the first step, walk out into the chaotic traffic, keep on moving, and be awed by how the traffic simply parts around you! 

Are you ready to surrender to something now, and just trust it's going to work out? 

Personally, I think that if we hold off taking our business to the next step in some way, until things are just perfect, then we might be waiting a long time. With my first company, my business partner was way more bullish than me. She managed to convince me to invest into premises, and take on extra staff way before the P and L justified it. As much as it kicked my protestant, play it safe little voice into overdrive, I don't know that we would have experienced the success we did, if we had simply.... waited.  

In July last year, I was primarily coaching face to face, was working with a number of wonderful clients, and holding these sessions in cafes around Auckland. Although it was kind of nice working out of a cafe (and a theme for me; with ITmaniacs, we actually operated above a cafe my business partner bought so we could interview people in it), it was pretty distracting, I tended to drink too much coffee, and it was proving to be expensive with all the parking and coffee costs. I decided to look around for an office or spare meeting room that I could work from for two days a week, and ended up finding my wonderful office in Grey Lynn. But I needed to take it on full time and sign a lease. The expenditure was probably more than I could justify at the time, but I knew that the benefits would outweigh that, took a deep breath and jumped! And have never looked back.  

Then in May this year, we finally hired our brilliant full time virtual assistant Christine, who is based in the Philippines (check out virtual staff finder for a great sourcing service). Christine's job is to make my life easier, and she certainly does that, but again, I probably took her on just a little bit sooner than the cash-flow forecast would recommend.  

And finally at the end of August, my dear husband Geoff left his career of 37 years asbanker. He now helps me for 20 hours a week, and keeps the household ticking over way better than I ever have. He also supports Christine to do her job, because I have a tendency to get so absorbed in what I am doing, and don't spend enough time providing direction. Giving up a nice corporate salary was a big move for our family, and my earnings at the time didn't replace that, but if we were serious about taking my company to the next level, then it was the smart thing to do (and logistically,it would have been a nightmare managing child care when I am travelling so much more with my speaking work now).  

The most wonderful thing about this (apart from having a way happier and more relaxed hubby :-)) is that we now sit up as a family and have dinner together most nights. Can you even put a price on that?  

The dividends have so paid off. My business now is in a new growth phase, and I pinch myself about the caliber of work and clients I am attracting. If I had stayed on my own, and continued my cafe coaching, I would never be making the difference I am today.

I know that many people in my community and particularly my cool sisterhood (you know who you are) are also deliberating whether it's the right time to move to the next level somehow in their business. I get that it is scary, and it can even feel irresponsible to financially commit to something before you can justify it. But as a mentor of mine once said ' there are two types of people in this world Laurel, risk takers and losers'! (he isn't one to mince words). The funny thing is that by nature I am quite a risk averse person, but my faith in my business and the difference I know I can make overrides that. Sometimes you simply take a deep breath, check in with your faith, and take the first step (or dive into the pit!).

Cheers

Laurel  

PS - yes, it is worth noting that sometimes people get injured, or even die stage diving or walking across the street in Vietnam. The odds of this are very slim, but they exist. When you take a risk you naturally have to consider what will happen if it doesn't work out, and more likely than not, it simply won't happen! 

Are you hiding behind someone else's message?

If you are a thought leader (that is a speaker, author, trainer, mentor, facilitator or coach) then are you primarily sharing your stuff or someone else's? An example is a wonderful colleague in Thought Leader's Business School yesterday, who was NLP trained and used to define herself as an NLP trainer, rather than include that as something in her kitbag so to speak, and focusing instead on her own unique value.

Certainly this is something that I tend to do. If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you will know that I frequently refer to the Thought Leaders methodology or Sally Anderson's Evolved Leadership curriculum. I just love being part of both of these amazing communities, and there is a big part of me that wants to share the immense value I have received from them. 

Do you feel that your own work is 'good enough' to share, really? 

Ok, this is one of those calling the 'rhino's head in the room' blogs. In the past, when I got comments that I tended to share other people's stuff more than my own, I would vehemently defend doing that, and emphasize that they are just too important messages not to share. But I think there might have been something more sinister going on...

"There was a part of me that didn't think that people would find what I had to say that valuable".

It was way easier for me to demonstrate credibility by identifying myself as an accredited Thought Leaders mentor or an Evolved Leadership certified coach, than simply Laurel McLay.

And clearly, with both of these programs, there is validity to this, because they are simply extraordinary.

But here's the irony. A key philosophy of both of these communities is to celebrate your uniqueness, share your own stuff and stories with those around you, and build your own tribe. And in putting other messages first, before my own, I wasn't actually honoring one of their key messages myself.

Then I nearly lost some work because of it (there may of course have been more opportunities I have lost that I don't know about :-)). I recently had a beautifully engaging conversation with a wonderful man who organises speaking events for a highly influential group of leaders, and we were discussing what kind of session I could present to them. I gave him a copy of my book Lead Generation, and left the meeting feeling very excited about this opportunity. A couple of days later I received an email from him withdrawing his offer, because after reading my book, he felt that I was primarily promoting other people's material and that he was looking for people who spoke their own voice- ouch! Talk about the irony of expertise, a key part of my own message is for people to illuminate and shine with their own stuff!

Thankfully, I got back to him and shared my perfectly timed revelation, that I had been focusing too much on other people's work, and was now embracing my own, and shared some personal decisions that I had recently made which supported that. Often the way you respond to a hiccup with a prospect or client can actually cement the relationship going forward and this was the case here.

How about you (and this doesn't just apply to thought leaders by the way!)? Do you spend time developing your own unique thought leadership and material, or do you hide behind other proven philosophies? I promise you, once I made a choice to primarily focus on the value that I personally can bring, I experienced another one of those cool shifts in business, and suddenly a whole lot of fabulous opportunities came my way.  I do believe that there is something that changes at a universal/woo woo level here, when you truly claim who you are.

Don't get me wrong, you will still hear about these programs, and other amazing philosophies that I come across. But the key message from me will be my own stuff, and I invite you to make that decision for yourself too!

Stop hiding, and start shining!!! 

Christchurch now and Christchurch then - embracing both

I spent some time last week in my old home town Christchurch and was staying right in the middle of town, which has been badly damaged by the earthquake which happened nearly five years ago.

When you don't live in Christchurch, I think it's quite easy to stay a little distant from the impact; in fact even if you visit, but don't venture into central city (which I did a couple of weeks prior), you can almost feel that things are getting back to normal.

But there's no escaping the massive changes when you are in town. The view from my hotel room was simply construction sites and dusty carparks and if you are familiar with the 'old' Christchurch, you would have a hard time getting your bearings in places.

I took the picture above in Oxford Terrace. My first ever job out of university, was working for a recruitment company in the Clarendon Towers, which used to stand where the gap is between the two buildings (the building to the left is the Rydges Hotel, which I also used to work at, and remains eerily standing, even with the neon sign for one of the restaurants still on). 

How do Christchurch residents feel about the old and the new? 

I was feeling pretty nostalgic after my visit, and in a way, didn't even want to acknowledge all the cool developments that are happening in the city. Knowing that I will never again enjoy the experience of Christchurch as it was, is at some level heartbreaking. But what about those who are not only living through that kind of loss, but still putting up with unsettled claims, bumpy roads and terrible traffic?

It really does come down to resilience and the residents I spoke with (both those I know and those who I met while down there) all have their own story of how the earthquake has impacted them, but they are all simply 'getting on'. Personally, I think if you were considering where to hold your next conference, and managing change or resilience was a key theme you wanted to focus on, then Christchurch would be a perfect place to hold it. It's strange seeing tourists taking pictures of rubble, whereas previously they might have focused more on the Avon River, but at some level it is a deeply touching experience; I wondered if there was such a thing as 'disaster tourism', googled it, and sure enough there is.

The new developments are definitely exciting, and I get that at some level, this is a brilliant opportunity for a city to reinvent itself. When the cityscape is SO unrecognisable, then maybe it's just better to start from scratch and create new colour, texture and design. But our identity as a city is so important to who we are, and I am thrilled that one Christchurch icon has been impeccably restored to an outstanding level.

The Isaac Theatre Royal is a spectacular building and I remember attending various shows there when I was living in Christchurch (and totally bitten by the theatre bug). It was a total privilege to attend a gala dinner there last week, and marvel at the total recreation of this building in all it's splendour. This was no mean feat, the extraordinary dome in the ceiling had to be removed, restored, then put back in its place, and if you look at this video, then you will learn about the various challenges, for example about the dome itself not being a perfect half sphere, simply because at time of original construction, that was impossible!

I know that the Christchurch residents are thrilled to have their 'grand old lady' back and it is testimony to what's possible that it reopened after being almost fully rebuilt less than four years after the earthquake. Sometimes we need to be unreasonable, and fight for the old to be preserved, and this has been a timely reminder for me. As someone who is guilty of constantly looking for the 'next bright shiny object', I also like to reflect on those parts of my life, and my business which have been around for a while now, and celebrate them too. 

The power of streaks and quests

You might be thinking, Laurel why are you publishing a blog only two days after the last one? The reason is, I didn't publish one last Thursday, so am playing catch up. And why didn't I just wait until today to publish it and miss out on a week? Because, since the beginning of the year, I have been on a 'blogging streak' meaning every week, without fail I have published a blog, and for some weird reason I don't want to break the streak.

Of course some people have running streaks, meaning they clock the number of days that they run at least one kilometer in a row. One of my highly committed girlfriends shares a story of keeping a running streak going fora couple of years, and being on a stopover in Hong Kong, where she literally ran around the hotel room until she had run her kilometer, so as not to break the streak!

It is something primarily about your commitment to yourself, I believe. But what about commitments to others? At Business School, we have a few 'quests' going down on our highly engaged online community and by quest, I mean choosing to play a game where we all commit to certain activity over this quarter.

One is #PSMAD where we commit to completing a pink sheet every day for a quarter; a pink sheet is an intellectual property snapshot and the cornerstone of the curriculum ( I have for example, just completed a pink sheet on streaks and quests, and am using it as the basis for this blog).

#300 and #156 are all about our sales activity and approaches, #5am90days means we commit to getting up at 5am each morning, and one of my favourites (although not playing it myself) is #AFSD - alcohol free school days.

There are a number of us who have 'signed up' to each of these quests and streaks, and every day, there are postings on the wins AND fails associated with them!

Why are quests and streaks so powerful? 

I think the best answer lies in the extraordinary Dr Jason Fox's work. He is an absolute guru in motivational design, and looks at making the work more interesting. One way to do this is to apply the principles of gaming to broader aspects of your life. 500 million people spend 7 billion hours a week highly engaged in gaming, so what's the secret?

It's all about visible progress, and playing an infinite game, that consists of many finite games. It has no beginning or end, there are no winners or losers, it's simply a way to progress through play! You can find out more by reading his book The Game Changer.

Peter Cook sheds some more light on this phenomenon in his powerful book 'The New Rules of Management'. In his chapter on accountability, he shares the different levels of what's at stake. If for example, your accountability is only to yourself (i.e. private) then you will probably be disappointed if you 'fail'. But if you set up a public accountability structure (he shares a great example in his book around the London Olympics) then you may in fact feel shamed if you don't keep to it. Remember that we welcome failure by the way, but as far as accountability mechanisms go, the more public they are, the more likely your chance of success.

In a blog I wrote in April last year, I declared publicly that I was writing a book, and it seriously helped keep me on track to actually complete it! 

What streaks and quests can you set up to create more success?

One really simple example is MyFitnessPal. Presently, a few of us are recording our food and exercise activity daily, and making it visible to the rest of the group. The key thing is to make it fun and playful, and certainly not beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon. Even if you don't follow it to the letter, chances are, the results you achieve will be better than the streak or quest free alternative!

Is doing an MBA worth it?

I am expecting to get some interesting comments back on this, as I just did a search on my LinkedIN first connections, and 68 of you have MBAs (or a Master of Business Administration). The first thing I want to state is that I am in total awe of anyone who has done an MBA. It is a massive undertaking and you have to be a pretty smart cookie to 'get' alot of the stuff that is covered. 

Today I came across this video by Marshall Goldsmith on the Inc website, and I think that it really spelled out some key points. Sometimes people get an MBA (or any degree for that matter) to gain more credibility, and whilst in some cases, that might be relevant, in others it simply doesn't matter. It really depends on your own personal goals. 

Don't confuse getting an MBA with wisdom

In the video, Marshall makes this interesting comment and simply says, 'if you want a degree, get a degree, if you want wisdom, acquire wisdom!'

There are SO many ways you can learn, for example, check out this list of best Ted Talks (as an alternative to business school) again from the Inc websites. There is a massive shift in free content by universities, for example Harvard, by way of MOOCsoffers a mass of its material online. Our own University of Auckland and many other top universities world wide offer countless courses via Futurelearn. But the best way to learn, over and above targeted (and at your own pace) research and reading is to get out there and do it!

I am quite surprised that there is a degree in Innovation and Entrepreneurial-ism at Auckland university. If you spent the hours you spend on your study on actually creating a business, then I think you would learn alot more. Maybe this actually comes down to some perfection, distraction or avoidance. You either want to make sure you have gleaned a large amount of knowledge to minimise risk of failure, or prefer to study rather than get out there and be in business.

But let's get back to MBAs. If you are working for a large corporation, then Marshall claims that it might be a good idea (particularly if your employer pays for the fee!). You will learn some cool and complex stuff which is probably applicable in that domain, and it might place you in good stead for a promotion. The discipline it will take to complete this undertaking will certainly be an invaluable asset for you.

On the other hand, if you are an entrepreneur, just remember that nobody cares if you have an MBA! They only care about your services and products, and if they serve them. 

Focus on learning, not degrees

In China and India, groups of people now gather in living rooms (maybe with a mentor present) to share the learned experience of learning. If they get a degree great, but it's more about what they learn and how they apply it.

Please note I am not talking about whether or not you get a degree when you leave school. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that is a really good idea (although, again, there are countless examples of highly successful game changers who have never studied at a tertiary level).

But if you are considering it further down the track of your career, just think about what YOU want to get out of it, not how it is going to change the way people think of you.

Case study of a life by design - Jasmine Platt

I think that every now and then, it would be valuable to profile someone in my community who is just kicking butt and truly living a life that rocks. If I were to think of the person who truly has created an extraordinary life for herself and her family it's Jazzy Jas. We have known each other for 12 years, and witnessing her own journey has been breathtakingly inspiring.

When I asked her what she believes she has created for herself, she simply said, 'a life of freedom, where I can do whatever I want, with my friends and family'. And boy is she doing that. On Tuesday she is off to Hawaii with her family; she travels internationally, delivering the most amazing work, travelling first class right through the year and manages to fund all this working part time. She is real, fun, spiritual, grounded and her main focus is on getting results for her clients, something so many people don't take responsibility for. Her clients are international, and her game is big. The fact is, that when you create massive results for people, they are willing to invest significantly in you. Thanks so much lovely Jasmine, for allowing me to share your story.

From school teacher to international transformational speaker/author/mentor

School teachers make great thought leaders and Jazz is no exception. From school teacher, to working with youth, to HR corporate consultant, it was around 10 years ago when Jazz realised that she was drawn to more of a spiritual path. After some identity wrestling (at that stage she was more of a black and white corporate girl), she did that very cool thing of surrendering and chose to become a coach, mentor, trainer and explore her spiritual side deeply.

My personal experience of her work was around six years ago, when I attended her 'Creating Miracles' course. A wonderful bunch of people met up weekly and learned how to manifest what we wanted. For me personally, I had experienced fertility challenges and was aching to have another baby. At 42 I felt time was truly running out.

I became pregnant almost immediately, and absolutely attribute Jazz and her incredible talent to making my gorgeous Cameron a reality.

A couple of years down the track Jasmine had discovered the devastating news that her beautiful daughter had massive developmental challenges, and was in need of expensive regular therapy, in order to live the life that Jazz and Nick knew she deserved. I think the cost was around $60,000 a year, and although they were doing fine financially, this was clearly quite a strain on them.

Jazz and I have both been blessed with the same amazing guides and mentors in our lives, including Sally Anderson, Matt Church and Lucille Henry. Jazz then chose to enter the international arena, totally own her amazing gifts, and got some support around that with another powerful community in the US.

Since then, she has simply blossomed, is making a profound difference in others lives, and doing it with ease and minimal effort. She is also able to give her daughter the best possible chance at life, by investing in world class therapists. I know that challenges still of course present themselves but it's how she handles them, and doesn't dwell, something we can all learn to do more of. 

So what is Jazz' philosophy on how to achieve this success? 

She has very generously shared with me her 3 primary beliefs around why she believes she is now living the life she loves;

1.     She owns her own uniqueness and value. Simple, I know but so many of us don't take the time to do that. The way that Jazz does it (for her and her clients) is to get clear on your soul alignment, and where in your life you are aligned and where you aren't. One of the key areas where many are not aligned is in owning just how good they are!

2.     She owns the results she produces for her clients. This is a great differentiator. So many people simply don't do this, but she has such a belief in what she can create, that she owns this, and guess what? They are getting results!

3.     She is playing a bigger international game. By being part of a global community, Jazz got present to how isolated we are on this side of the world. But it doesn't have to be this way. Jazz works with clients across the planet, AND gets paid in US dollars!

If you are interested in finding out more about what Jasmine does, check out www.jasmineplatt.com.It is an honour to know you Jazz, and here's to more people creating lives by design.

Update on Sal's one day empowerment workshop

The feedback we have received after Sally Anderson's workshop last week has been extraordinary. Here is an example;

"Smashing breakthroughs in ‘reality’ consciousness I have known and know and full willingness to live the work for self and reflect it out for others to experience – literally THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE"

If you are interested in attending one of Sally Anderson's workshops, she is hosting another one on Friday 2nd October in Auckland, and Friday 23 October in Tauranga. Please note we do not publicly advertise these courses, and they will fill up quickly. If you would like to come as a guest on my table, you can purchase a ticket for $265 plus GST, just register here, and enter LAUREL in the promo code box.

The power of 'front of room' work

Last week I experienced another extraordinary day workshop with Sally Anderson. Limited to 30 spaces, and held at the spectacular Heritage Boutique Waitakere Estate (brilliant service and venue), Sal was in fine form, delivering breakthrough results for the participants in very short timeframes, in fact almost all of the 30 people in the room received one on one attention.

Two weeks earlier, I delivered my Illuminate workshop, to 14 participants, which basically involved each of the participants having their time on the 'hot seat' at the front of the room. It was a great day, and the energy of the group dynamics at the end of the day was palpable.

Last week, at Thought Leader's Business School, fellow kiwi and extraordinary Thought Leader Owen McCall was at the front of the room for the appropriately called 'Cluster under the Microscope' where his very successful offering he has been focusing on the last quarter was 'unpacked' for the room to learn from the wins and challenges.

Why is 'front of room' work so effective? 

I struggled to find any cool research that focuses on this (so would love any of my pedagogical oriented friends to direct me to any) but here are my observations from three recent powerful but different experiences.

1. The collective support of someone at the front of the room is quite special. Being the center of attention is quite confronting for some, but rather than an alienating audience, front of room participants are amazed at the collective support for them. Sometimes contribution is welcomed from the room, in other instances it is not, but regardless, the constant feedback is that the reward of being supported outweighs the angst of being vulnerable and getting up there in the first place.

2. We are predictable as human beings, and can usually see something that applies to ourselves in the discussions. Instead of it being 'all about the person' at the front of the room, they are merely reflecting the various challenges and insights that many of the room are experiencing as well. It's surprising how our problems can often be summarized into only a handful of key challenges, regardless of the context.

3. Practical application is the best way to learn concepts. For example, when people first come to Business School, they can be quite confused about the breadth of the curriculum. By seeing how these concepts are actually applied in a real life situation, there is more cut through than trying to learn something in isolation.

4. Interactive learning trumps a boring download from the trainer every time. Let's face it, being talked at by one person for a day is pretty uninspiring. Not only is it more interesting when there is someone else involved (and maybe even the whole room), but energetically, something magical happens, and the feedback from workshops where this takes place is overwhelmingly positive regarding the camaraderie and connection experienced within the group.

If you hold workshops yourself, or are intending to, do consider this approach as a brilliant way to get your message across (this is definitely being practiced more and more). AND, if you are attending a workshop, where you have the opportunity to get into the hot seat, go ahead and jump right in. It will be worth the sweaty palms sensation, I promise!

I am shortly relaunching my webinars, but am limiting them to six people each, and incorporating the 'front of room' techniques into the webinar.

That means, if you attend, you will experience a far more interactive and targeted webinar. Please email me if you would like to be notified when I will be launching them. The primary focus of these webinars will be on Illuminate, ie supporting individuals to discover, live, own and commercialise their legacy.

And if you are interested in attending one of Sal's workshops, she is hosting another one on Friday 2nd October in Auckland, and Friday 23 October in Tauranga. Please note we do not publicly advertise these courses, and they will fill up quickly. If you would like to come as a guest on my table, you can purchase a ticket for $275 plus GST (email me if this interests you).

Boundaries Part three - managing your commitments when you are unwell, and lessons learnt

There was no intention to create a Part three for this series, but I am down a cropper with a cold last week, and I think because my boundaries were OUT and I suffered some consequences, it makes for a good final spiel on this topic.

How does the show still go on when you are feeling like sh#%?

I think that the thought leader’s journey (getting paid to share the message you love through speaking, authoring, training, mentoring, facilitating or coaching) is one full of freedom; you are really free to create the life you choose, and one of the many things I love about it, is that you can choose lots of holidays! BUT there is one thing that I think is a bit of a compromise with this profession…. The show must go on!  

There are legendary stories of speakers being injected with anti nausea agent just before they go on stage; flying into Hawaii, and requesting a hand rail on the stage so that they can hold on to it whilst speaking, and general recounts of above and beyond. Why? Because if someone has paid you well and flown in their entire company to be elevated by your message, then it doesn’t really cut it to say ‘sorry, I am not up to it’ (of course there are some instances where you simply can’t make it, and in that case having a couple of highly trusted standbys who deliver a complimentary message to you is a very smart move).

Last Thursday I presented my public Illuminate workshop to a wonderful bunch of 14 people.  I had spent Tuesday and Wednesday in bed (working) with a cold and at the end of the day I was shattered, but thrilled having been able to give it my all for the day.

And if I had taken it easy from there, things would have been fine.. but I didn’t.

My sons’ school is an amazing community, and we had our once every two year fund raising ball on Saturday night. I managed to make the night, drinking all of a couple of wines, and getting home at a reasonable time.

And even if I had taken it easy on the Sunday, things might have worked out better for me.

But I spent Sunday doing stuff when I should have stayed in bed. And the consequence of that is I am now here in Sydney, at my beloved Business School, and feeling not on top of my game. It’s a miracle I got myself on the plane at an obscene hour yesterday (and bad timing that a wonderful high profile client was on the same plane and observed my dripping nose with my face half falling off and very drab clothes and no make-up).

Thankfully after taking it easy yesterday, and not going out last night, I am feeling better, and up to drinking in the inspiration and sharing over the next three days.

But the learning is that boundaries are super important when you are sick, or think you are on the road to recovery. As someone with massive FOMO (fear of missing out), I will forego the celebrations out in Sydney tonight, and tuck myself up in bed nice and early, to make sure I am in an even better space tomorrow.

If you are one of the many struck down with what some GP's are calling the three month cold (groan), then remember to take it easy. Far better to spend a few days in bed, and a week or two of low key lifestyle than lingering in that Neverland of blahness for weeks on end. AND make sure, that you are brave enough to make the call when the show simply CAN’T go on!

Congratulations to Cynthia Kirk who not only won a place at my Illuminate workshop last week, but also won the trip to see Oprah with me in December!

Boundaries, and how we train others to treat us

Thanks for all your comments from last week around our personal boundaries. As a recap, in the Evolved Leadership curriculum (click here to like our new Facebook page), we refer to boundaries in people's lives, and specifically boundaries first, life second. Think of a small tree placed in a paddock of cows. The tree would not survive, but if you pop a fence around it, and nurture it, then it would. It's the same with your life, if you don't put some kind of boundaries in place, you simply won't survive, and there will literally be no fuel in your tank to function.

There are two kinds of boundaries that we refer to (1) the boundaries that we set up in our daily lives, and (2) the boundaries that we place when connecting with others. This week, we are focusing on the latter. 

Do you allow people to treat you a particular way?

If you have an abusive, domineering or just plain annoying partner, work colleague, friend, family member, business partner, or even child, then think about the part you've played in allowing them to treat you that way.

I get that there are some people out there, where NOTHING you do would make a difference to their toxic behaviour, but in some cases, you have essentially trained them to interact with you that way. Now I know that that sounds absolutely horrendous, but think about it. Gently and firmly pointing out to someone that the way that they are corresponding with you is unacceptable could make a huge difference.

One of my first holiday jobs was working in a photography shop in Queenstown. I was around about 19, and I loved working with a bunch of my friends in such a beautiful location. However there was a young girl who worked with me. She was probably only 15, and she used to literally bully me. She had a go at me every single time we saw each other, and she used to just constantly say pretty horrible things to me, and I was too spineless to do anything about it.

One older woman who worked with me said to me one day, "I don't know why you put up with it, " to which I replied "but, I don't know what to do." She said, "Go up to her. Say firmly “ Janet (not her real name!), the way that you treat me is unacceptable. Please stop doing it." With my heart in my mouth, the next time I saw her, I went up and did exactly as instructed. She said, "Oh, okay," and I never was hassled by her again.

I agree there are situations where additional action is required, but the fact is you need to train people around you to behave with you in the right way. That particularly goes for habitual interactions between you and your partner. Just because you have always endured them say having a go at you or putting you down in front of your friends, doesn't mean you can't make a stand, and insist it stops, right here, right now (with some gentle compassionate reminding as they get used to the new agreement).

By the way, that also goes for clients. You need to stand in your power and make sure that you're not allowing yourself to be manipulated by those who pay you. Certainly in the negotiation process boundaries are pretty important; there is real elegance to being unattached and just firmly stating where your boundaries around financial agreements lie.

Laurel, what does this have to do with lead generation, and commercial success, you may ask? Everything! You commit to keeping your boundaries in place (without being a tosser about it) and the air of conviction and groundedness will definitely shine through, and significantly increase your chances of closing business.

Congratulations to Cynthia Kirk who won a place at my Illuminate workshop today!

She attended the webinar last week, and will now not only enjoy spending a day with the most wonderful bunch of people at my workshop, she is also in the draw to come to Oprah with me!

 

Are your personal boundaries in or out (and quick quiz)

I have recently referred to the massive rate of change that we are currently experiencing, and that it is quite unprecedented. One of the upshots of this, is that people are 'doing busy' like never before.

In the Evolved Leadership curriculum (click here to like our new Facebook page), we refer to boundaries in people's lives, and specifically boundaries first, life second. Think of a small tree placed in a paddock of cows. The tree would not survive, but if you pop a fence around it, and nurture it, then it would. It's the same with your life, if you don't put some kind of boundaries in place, you simply won't survive, and there will literally be no fuel in your tank to function.

There are two kinds of boundaries that we refer to (1) the boundaries that we set up in our daily lives, and (2) the boundaries that we place when connecting with others.

This week I will focus on the first type,and next week my newsletter will be about the second type. 

How do you rate in the following areas?

One of my gorgeous friends and I were having a conversation yesterday, where she mentioned that she is basically working all hours presently. That means all weekend, and in the evenings until 1 or 2 in the morning. Her reasoning is that she needs to 'make hay while the sun is shining', in that she has work on now, and is aware that December is not too far away, with it's inevitable downturn. Whilst I know that there is validity to being prepared for New Zealand and Australia going on shutdown, I think there is a smart way to keep yourself going, and it's all about boundaries. She manages to go swimming in the weekends, which is a great start.

Answer the following questions to see how you fare with your boundaries.

1.     Do you take time every week to have a two hour meeting with yourself, just doing something YOU love to do?

2.     Do you have a day a weekend where work of any type is off limits?

3.     Do you keep some kind of gratitude journal?

4.     Do you think what you eat daily fuels you adequately?

5.     Do you incorporate some kind of exercise into your routine (even a 20 minute walk most days?)

6.     Do you limit your alcohol intake?

7.     Do you get enough sleep (everyone varies around what that means for them, but generally six to eight hours is the norm)

8.     Do you meditate and/or simply take time out to be each day?

9.     Do you have boundaries around when you work (eg I won't look at my laptop before 7am or after 7pm each day?)

10.   Do you know what you ultimately want your life to look like, eg dream board, intentions identified (I prefer this word to 'goal'), and practise visualisation/manifestation regularly. 

If you answered 'no' to 5 or more of these questions, then it might be time to review your routine, and start to incorporate more boundaries. This is not coming from 'make wrong', more from ensuring you are living sustainably for you. There are of course times (say two or three weeks) when your boundaries might be temporarily out, eg when there is a massive deadline coming up, and you literally have no choice, but if it becomes the norm rather than the exception, then it might be worth looking at how you can shift that. Sometimes it's as simple as realising that spending 20 minutes on a meditation is way more beneficial than the extra 20 minutes you will dedicate to that project. 

Last chance to register for my webinar (tonight) and go into the draw to come to Oprah with me! 

Click here to register; it's all about getting clarity on what you love and are good at, and understanding how to commercialise that as an employee, expert, entrepreneur or enabler. One attendee tonight will win a free spot on my August workshop (about the same topic) next Thursday (tickets still available, click here for more details) and one person at my workshop will win a night with me where we go along to Oprah on December 16th.

Getting frank about filling workshops or events

I know many of you who have successfully and unsuccessfully run workshops or events. Some of you have positioned yourselves as high value, and charged accordingly, others have held free events or close to free. A special shout out to Lynda Moore of Money Mentalist who recently draw a large crowd to some and see her and two affiliates speak, simply by offering the tickets for $10. The gold in this is that if she hadn't charged at all, then many wouldn't have turned up, but $10 was enough for people to make the effort to commit AND she covered her costs. It was a wonderful and informative event, and Lynda spoke very powerfully and gave masses of value and consequently picked up some great business. Another inspiration was that she baked a bunch of cookies herself (and she is an amazing baker) and the venue were wonderfully flexible and let her serve those at the event.

I have to confess I have been wondering whether to publish this newsletter today, because at some level it sounds like excuses and not just trusting, going with the flow, and expecting a workshop to fill with ease. There is also an element of wanting to 'look good' and feeling that as a lead gen expert, I should have this nailed. But the pragmatic and upfront part of me has won out, so I am sharing (and love to hear your thoughts on the subject!). Please excuse length of today's post.

Filling an event or workshop takes something, unless you are Oprah or Taylor Swift 

Actually, there are still tickets available to Oprah's show.  I was so keen to get there, that I purchased my tickets via my phone (as I was out and about) at 10 on the dot and so I am sure that the seats are great. Although those lucky visa holders got first dibs.

But for all the rest of us, it can be just plain hard work filling our events. Personally, I think that it's not about people not seeing the value, but that we are all playing 'busy' and don't believe we have the luxury of taking a day or even couple of hours out to invest in learning. Let's face it, we are also being invited daily to attend workshops so there is lots of competition and I think the other challenge is the status quo (just easier NOT to go!). And as always, there is always the cost ('I would love to come, but simply can't afford it right now' - ironically, in these instances I think people can't afford NOT to come to any event that is going to give them the smarts to shift that dynamic).

If you are planning to host an event or workshop, here are some key tips gleaned from my own experience and others around me; (and please read to the end of my newsletter because there is a bit of a plug for my upcoming event and free webinar because I have kind of 'failed' in tip one!)

1. Book your venue early, allocate some good time to promoting your event. I think it takes a good three months to fill an event if you are charging over say $150 for a ticket, and believe it or not, the venues actually do book out. If you live in Auckland, venues that my community and I have personally used include The Clarion Room, Beaumont St, Rydges, Hotel de Brett, Spencer on Byron and Quality Hotel in Parnell. You are going to need to allocate a fair chunk of time to promoting it, so my recommendation is that when you are in a particularly busy period, best not to plan events.

2. Use social media, both organic and paid. Popping the details up on Facebook and LinkedIn is one of the most effective ways to spread the word. Remember you will probably have to post a couple of times a week, people don't make their decision on first glance. Advertising workshops is also great for positioning your brand in general, and getting known. 

3. Ask for support from those around you. This can be excruciatingly awkward for some people, but the reality is that people will be more likely to invest in you if you come recommended. Asking those who love you and rate you is a smart move (and most of us don't ask for support enough, we are generally doing it on our own. If you have trusted contacts who have a big list or following on FaceBook, they are clearly great people to ask (in a nice unattached way :-)). One way to make this easier, is to host a complimentary and value packed webinar upfront, (here's the details to mine!) which people can refer their networks to.

4. Remember to mention your event when you are out and about. Wonderful fellow coaches Karlie Brown and Lenore Miller are presently hosting wonderful Feminine Leader workshops in Sydney and Melbourne, and they got some beautiful postcards made up to promote the event. Giving these out over the preceding months is a smart move, because something physical general stays in our line of sight, and is a great reminder. I have been doing a bit of speaking and networking lately, and always forget to mention my event, which is really silly!

5. Experiment with your pricing. It would be great to be able to give you the silver bullet on this one, but there simply isn't one. As I have already mentioned, offering it for free can mean people don't turn up. I think if lead generation is a key motive, and you are looking at hosting at least 30 people, then charging around $50 to $150 is a good price point for up to a day in length. If your vibe is more intimate, say up to 20 people, I think the sweet spot is $250 to $650, which I know is quite a spread, but it really does depend on how well you are known and valued. Some people find offering a second ticket for free or at a nominal price works well.

6. Connect with people individually. It's a great reason to reach out to people you might not have spoken with for a while and face to face or even on the phone is always going to increase the chances of someone truly seeing the value in what you offer. Of course this is time consuming which is why you need to make sure you have the time to invest in filing the event.

7. Consider an offer. I haven't done this before, but now I am really excited about the prize of a night with Oprah! I am going to make it a really cool celebration, and do have great tickets. Someone mentioned to me that they thought I get more interest if I offered two tickets and for them NOT to come with me, but bugger it, I want to see Oprah and am going to make sure that the winner is totally indulged and doesn't have to think about anything for the night! Because someone at my webinar wins a seat to my workshop, they are also in with a chance to win, and really, the odds are pretty good! ( I am not planning on having any more than 20 at my event).

8. Look at a professional/public hybrid. Amy Scott I think has this sorted. She is an amazing speaker and trainer on effective communication through 'dotting' and has a brilliant following in corporate land. She also host public workshops, where lucky people like you and me can front up, but (and here's the really smart thing) she offers tables to her corporate clients who may just have a few new people they would like to attend.

9. Make sure you have your systems sorted. Fiona Hall is a systems guru, and I love that she has recently hosted a workshop, and now has put together an offering to help you create a successful and seamless workshop. There's nothing tackier than the venue door being locked at arrival, being in a noisy or interrupted location, or hiccups with purchasing tickets. On a side note, Fiona has been a trainer for years, personally I think anyone who has been a teacher is SO well suited to presenting; if you can wrestle a class of children, adults are a cinch. 

I would love you to attend my upcoming webinar or workshop (and would love to shout you my Oprah experience!)

I last hosted a public workshop around 18 months ago. They were intimate events (only six people at a time) and lots of fun (there are a group of us from the first workshop who still meet up regularly because the bonds formed over the weekend were so strong). Since then, I have been focusing on my one on one offerings and more recently speaking and workshops.

I made the decision to host my Illuminate Workshop, because I am so excited about the opportunities that people have as an employee, expert, entrepreneur or enabler, and I don't think people realise just what cool options they have. This workshop is a great way for people who are stuck to get some real clarity on their purpose. The only other way I offer this is via my one on one coaching, which is at a much higher price point. The simple truth is (and some of you I know think that I share too much, but that is the risk I am prepared to take) that I have some cool people registered, but would like more, so I have taken the price down to $347 plus GST and am including my Oprah offer (which even applies if you simply attend my free webinar) which you can find out more about on my website.

If you or someone who is tolerating a role that doesn't light them up, then I know that these days will provide some much needed clarity around what to do about it. Here is the link; I am holding one on Thursday 20 August and one on Friday 16 October. They will be from 9am to 5:30pm and at Spencer on Byron at Takapuna Beach. I am SOO excited because it is going to be a spectacular day, supporting people to get some real clarity on not only what they love/are good at, but how they can make a decent living, sharing that with the world somehow. I thought it was amazing value for $495 plus GST - but have now reduced the price to $347 plus GST.

And I am happy to share with you how I am progressing with this in the next two weeks, because I think my learnings can be your learnings too! In the meantime I would really appreciate you simply sharing the webinar and/or workshop link with your network (see there, is me stepping up and asking for support!).

And  while we are talking about events, my table at Sally Anderson's one day empowerment workshop is filling up. This is going to be a seriously cool day, and a great way to see Sal in action, over and above attending one of her advances. I think the 60 minutes documentary on her story this week said it all; her gifts are astounding. $275 plus GST for a place at my table, please let me know if you are keen to join me, here are the details for Auckland on Sept 4th, and here are the details for Sydney. 

PS Here is the link to my interview with Paul Henry on Tuesday, it was lots of fun, and I think a bit lighter than normal, because it was his birthday! 

My birthday gratitude rant

There has been a lot of talk on gratitude lately, don't you think? Personally, I think it it one of the coolest things around, and one thing I now ask my clients to do way early on is to keep a gratitude journal, just somewhere to jot down some really cool things about that day, or the last few days if you aren't able to commit to daily entries. It is something that I truly believe makes a difference around creating more good stuff in your life! 

One of the best things about writing a book is the acknowledgements section! 

It's a really nice way to get present to the extraordinary people in your life. There are so many other things that we can be grateful for, eg our health (I had a mammogram earlier this week, and got the all clear; I make sure I celebrate that, because we can so take our wellness for granted), our lifestyle (this piccie was taken a couple of weeks back at a wonderful family holiday in Paihia in the Bay of Islands) our career opportunities and our stuff. But it's the people who I think we are most grateful for, and today I am going to do some shout outs, and because it's my birthday I am taking the liberty of commandeering my own newsletter for the cause.... 

Firstly, I am so grateful for my husband Geoff McLay. Marriages are tricky things to navigate, and I think it pretty normal to have some ups and downs. I am so grateful that we are presently in a very cool rock solid place, because we have been in communication AND 'done the work' on ourselves. Sadly it is quite an epidemic right now for one partner to outgrow another, and I think if someone is unprepared to do some self reflection and personal development (whatever that looks like for them) then they need to understand that they do risk being 'left behind' as callous as that sounds. 

My wonderful coach, Sally Anderson. If you want to know why, watch 60 Minutes on Monday night (3 August) 8:30pm on Prime. She was featured 10 years ago on this documentary and it was the most watched episode ever. This is a whole episode dedicated to Sal and her vision and is ESSENTIAL VIEWING for those of you in NZ. She is also hosting an incredible one day empowerment workshop, Auckland Friday 4th September and Sydney, Tuesday 25 August. If you would like to be at my table for the Auckland event, please let me know (tickets are $275 each if you come as my guest). 

Thought Leader's Business School founders Matt Church and Peter Cook. These two are the real deal. Their vision and commitment to it is extraordinary, and I feel truly privileged to be part of the faculty. To say that Business School is life changing still doesn't seem to do it justice. And while I am at it, there are other faculty members and students who I am thrilled to have in my life, too many to mention but special shout out to Christina Guidotti, Amy Scott, Rod Buchecker, Dr Jason Fox, Scott Stein, Corrinne Armour, Simon Waller, Tracey Ezard, Vickie Saunders and Donna McGeorge.

My other family members, of course my children, and my immediate and extended family (including Geoff's family) and cussies. Special mention to my wonderful twin sister Josie Gillan who is now living in Sydney, so wonderfully close to me now, and  our phone calls are way more frequent (and free!) with the time difference! I am in awe of her current quest and what she is creating. AND of course my lovely mum, who is so extraordinarily supportive of me ( and is always the first person I ring for a debrief after the Paul Henry Show sessions!).

And other friends too many to mention, but include (and not limited to - I don't want to miss anyone out!) Lynne Cazaly, Gabrielle Dolan, Scott Holdsworth, Sophie Bell, Wendy Brennan, Phil Holland, Terri O'Connell, Sonia Thursby, Sally Guest, Roger Te Tai, Lisa Militch, Karen Oates, Trish Robbins, Lucille Henry, Jasmine Platt, Rebecca Morris, Maree Tassell, Lenore Miller, Karlie Brown,  Suzanne Kendrick, Blythe Rowe, Jan Stein, Mandy Beverley, Frederic Cherri, Janelle Fletcher, Natalie Cutler Welsh, Sheila Sutherland, Jenni Fernandez, Emma Kelly, Sandy Butler, Karen McMahon, Karen Agnew, Lindsey Dawson, Lynda Moore, Tanya McQueen, Beccy Banks, Sheree Nicolas, Kate Blaikie, Lisa Schofield, Lisa Reidie, Cathy Hicks, Othlie Cook, Sharon Wright, Julie North, April O'Hanlon, Melissa Barnett, Natalie Flynn, Di Sorrell, Denise Waller, Cath Henderson, Katie Robinson, Jo Vivian, Paul Letham, Kristin Moolman, Kim Charteris-Wright, Tonia Farquharson, Julie Kidman, Susan Parker and Sarah Gaffney.

Thank you for reading through my birthday rant, I am off to get my hair done this afternoon, and go celebrate!

And back on the Paul Henry Show most likely Wednesday next week for career challenges in your twenties, so do let me know if you have any cool OE (or equivalent) stories! 

Why it's normal for people not to return calls (or respond to emails)

I was listening to a webinar last night hosted by the brilliant Matt Church (I thoroughly recommend subscribing to his blog by the way, he has introduced a new format, which I think totally rocks) and he was sharing some information about our current experience of growth. Essentially, in the last 50 years, there has been exponential growth, which way 'outcurves' comfortable growth. But that's nothing compared to what we are going to experience in the next 10 years, something he refers to as hyper-growth; 

OK - so that's another blog topic in itself, but let's see how that exponential growth has affected our manners! 

50 years ago, was 1965. How do you think people communicated in business? Well even the telephone was used sparingly! Do you remember party lines? There was telex too of course, but really the main way that people communicated was by letter or office memo. That was generally typed, and I understand there were some people with nice handwriting (boy, not a job I would have landed!) who simply spent the day handwriting addresses on envelopes.

How many letters do you think someone sent on a daily basis? I couldn't find an answer to this, but I am imagining no more than ten? Remember, every letter had to be written from scratch, there were no templates!

Fast forward to today. The average number of emails sent and received is presently around 121 a day today (source 2014 to 2018 Email Statistics Report) and it's expected to rise to 140 a day in 2018. We are simply not keeping up. And I believe this affects each and every one of us.

So why do people still take things personally when their email or phone call is not returned? 

I cannot tell you the amount of times that clients have said to me 'oh I have lost that opportunity, she has been ignoring me and hasn't answered my calls/replied to my email'. Then they conveniently consider that opportunity as inactive, and never connect with the person again (nice little sabotage number going on there).

How about stopping to make it mean doom and gloom, and start having compassion for them simply being overloaded? A couple of weeks back I was raving about Nozbe, and how it has really helped me and my wonderful VA Christine keep on track with what we have to do. I have a project in there called 'waiting to hear back from' and I simply pop someone's name in there when I send them an important email or haven't managed to get through to them by phone (as a side note, I used to share the value of leaving voicemail messages in my sales workshops, but times have changed, and now I usually flick a text or email to accompany their 'missed call', just to save them the time to actually have to listen to my voicemail, and some companies like Coca Cola are even doing away with voicemail!).

Every few days, I look at that project and see who I haven't yet heard back from. Then I use my judgement to work out when to reconnect, either just forwarding the email again or ringing again (I think there is an art to this which you just master over time, to make sure you don't seem to be hounding). If I have tried a few times, with no response, I might send them a text with 'at the risk of turning into a stalker, I am reconnecting again :-)..' which usually gets a reply.

I cannot tell you the amount of times when people (usually prospects) say to me 'Thanks Laurel for persevering with me, I have been genuinely interested in connecting with you, but things are just manic right now', and it's often turned into business.

By the way, the same thing goes for friendships. I often have experience of friends not returning calls, and certainly I am guilty of that too.

Is this an example of manners not mattering any more? Well I don't think that's a particularly empowering belief! Have compassion for the exponential (and soon to be hyper!) growth that we are all experiencing, don't make it mean anything when people don't return your call/answer your email, and find a follow up system that works for you!

And just to finish off with manners, I was sharing this with someone who said they don't return calls or emails simply because those particular ones aren't important to them, or they aren't interested. I totally get that to but for correspondence that is one to one, and especially where you know them, wouldn't it be cleaner just to let them know that?!

PS I was back on the Paul Henry show yesterday talking about career choices for teenagers, click here to view! 

Video blog - why expert thinking is critical in today's world

Don't you love how on Youtube the thumbnails of videos always seem to show you in the most unflattering pose? (and the alternative thumbnails are never any better). 

Expert thinking or thought leadership is more important than you might think 

In this video (shot and edited by the beautiful Tanya McQueen) I explain why this is. (apologies it is probably a bit long at 6 mins, but there was a bit to cover!)

It basically comes down to three reasons; 

1. What we know

Today with so much information available to us, we are faced with a tsunami of information available, and it can be a little overwhelming. Plus the computers are doing more and more. If your job can be outsourced or automated, then you might want to start thinking of something else (coming to one of my workshops might be a good idea - see details at bottom of this post:-)). Two things the computers haven't nailed is creativity and making meaning out of something. The latter is all about thought leadership or expert thinking, and is key to managing the typical info overload we face today.

2. What we use

Did you know that the iPad was only released in April 2010? That is crazy! Now with phones and tablets, we not only have more information available, but it is accessible, so no longer does it have to stay in our heads. There is massive opportunity for thought leaders to help by sharing what they know with new markets who headed straight to a phone (ie they have never used a computer). Mobile learning is a brilliant growth market.

3. Who we are

According to Raj Sisodia, founder of Conscious Capitalism, we are smarter, more caring and more purpose driven than ever before. Some of the reasons he cited for this were fascinating (but you have to watch the video to find out more!).

I feel so privileged to be an accredited Thought Leaders Mentor, and a foundation mentor of Thought Leaders Business School (check out the cool video testimonials on this site!) Now more than ever, I believe we have opportunities to be expert thinkers and not only be commercially rewarded for it, but make the world quite literally a better place.

Reminder about my upcoming workshops 

If you or someone who you is tolerating a role that doesn't light them up, then I know that these days will provide some much needed clarity around what to do about it. Here is the link; I am holding one on Thursday 20 August and one on Friday 16 October. They will be from 9am to 5:30pm and at Spencer on Byron at Takapuna Beach. I am SOO excited because it is going to be an spectacular day, supporting people to get some real clarity on not only what they love/are good at, but how they can make a decent living, sharing that with the world somehow. II think it is amazing value for $495 plus GST. 

How do you manage your to do list?

Up until a year ago, I used to simply have a journal, where daily, I wrote down what I had to do, crossed out what I got done through the day, and then recreated a new revised list the following day.

Whilst at some level, it felt like I had a handle on things, I was risking simply forgetting some pretty important stuff. It also was a bit time consuming, particularly when I had a lot on.

The next iteration of managing my to-do list was popping everything on Evernote, which is a cool web-based note app. But there were challenges with synching between my phone and app and there was no real structure to it.

I finally feel that I have got it nailed…

and now, Iike an ex-smoker, or someone who had dropped 15 kilos on Paleo, I just want the world to know, because it has seriously changed my life for the better!

 Actually, I was quite happy to continue with my manky to do list practices, but the wonderful Glenn Williams from Nliven coaching called me on it, and got me to see that I needed to act on this sooner rather than later. Before I even knew it, we had shifted the paradigm, like super quick (three of my fellow thought leaders who are also just amazing in this space are Simon Waller, Dermot Crowley and Paul Worth). Glenn got me to approach this conundrum of to do lists as follows

1.     Find a productivity framework that suits

2.     Choose a productivity platform that suits

3.     Set up your to do list accordingly

This has just made so much sense to me! The productivity framework  I chose was Dave Allen’s Get Things Done (or GTD). I know that there are more sophisticated frameworks available, but for me, this was perfect.

1.     Get everything out of your head, and on to a list. This supposedly really helps our stress levels, particularly when we are are awake at night, and worrying about stuff. Just keep thinking of what you need to get done.

2.     Chunk them into an overall pattern that works for you, including projects and tasks. For example, ‘write a book’ is a rather massive (and overwhelming) task. Better to assign it as a project, and then have sub headings like ‘book overview, title name, decide publishing route etc underneath. Dave Allen talks about a ‘someday/maybe’ folder which is really good for those bigger ideas which you come up with, but don’t want to lose sight of.

3.     Think about ‘what is the next action moving forward?’This just means that you don’t get overwhelmed by the enormity of something, and focus instead on what you need to do next.

4.     Use the two minute rule for small tasks. If sending someone an invite to a meeting (eg while they are on the phone with you) is going to take 30 seconds, then don’t spend 20 seconds adding it to your to do list, just get it done!

5.     Schedule non negotiable time for a weekly review. This is brilliant, you simply look at your plan and think about what you can add, delegate, defer or delay. Last thing on Friday is a cool time to do this because you can kick into the weekend knowing you have things handled!

Once you have done this, (and believe me, it is not that onerous a job, I am thinking two or three hours and SO worth it), then find a productivity app that works for you. Some of the apps available (including on iPhone and Android) are Todoist, Asana and Nozbe. I have chosen Nozbe, and I love it!! It synchs beautifully with my phone and I can keep short term stuff that doesn’t need to be assigned a project to my inbox. There is a wonderful priority system ( you just click on the star for top priority and it shows up in your priority list) and the time scheduling and collaboration elements (I have a very clever virtual assistant in the Philippines who I assign tasks to) are super slick.

Does this all sound a bit too hard? Like so much in life, I delayed getting around to implementing a productivity system that works, but seriously, this has just changed my life so much for the better. These apps cost a few dollars a month, but give you so much control over your life, and literally give you more time in your day and week.

The comparison game - part two

A few months ago, I wrote about comparison in my blog, and also looked at competition. The general idea was that we care way more about what other people think than we let on.

That newsletter was all about how it makes us feel worse when we compare ourselves to others.

I received some great feedback and as I expected it seems to run rife in our communities.

A little while later, I found myself YET again comparing, as others around me were getting amazing results, and I was feeling like I was working so hard, and not producing the same results. Then I remembered a wonderful book that my gorgeous friend and mentor Jasmine Platt raves about, The Complete Works of Florence Scovell Shin and thought it was about time I read it properly; I don't know about you, but I sometimes leaf through books, not giving them the focus they deserve, so this time around I decided to read it cover to cover armed with a notebook and pen to capture the gems.

There was one affirmation that completely knocked me off my perch!  

It was seriously like, oh wow, this makes SO much sense, and I knew this was the key take out of her brilliant book...

"What God has done for others, he now does for me, and more".

How simple is that? I feel like that is the best quote to nail any comparison blues and started putting it to practice.

Some people give me feedback that I share too much about my 'little me' stuff in my blogs, but I choose to take a risk, because I think 'little me' is epidemic in our society, and if I face mine head on, then it does seem to take away it's power. So I am happy to share that sometimes when I hear about other people's successes, there can be a snarky wee voice inside saying 'why does she/he get that kind of result when I don't, it's not faaaaaair' (in a whiny 5 year old tone).

Using this affirmation has been spectacular in shifting that for me. I now see anyone's success as one for all of us, because at some level we are all connected, and coming from love, not judgement just feels WAY better!

I think there is another type of comparison that goes on 

I am sure you know this one too. It's when you look at others around you, who are going through some really tough times, either financially, healthwise, career wise or family/friend wise. In these instances, I hate to admit, I sometimes think of them to feel better about myself, something along the lines of 'at least I am not like poor old XXX, wouldn't like to be them right now'. 

Gratitude for our present situation is cool, but I think it kind of sucks when it is to some extent 'at the expense of others'. Just like we shouldn't feel crap when other people have it good, we shouldn't feel (at some level) good when other people have it crap.

So I flipped around Florence's quote! And now whenever, I hear about someone having  a shitty time,  I think

'What God has done for me, he now does for others and more!'

How's that for shifting the energy of comparison?! And from a financial/prosperity sense,  I think this gently encourages me to 'step up' and continue to gun for great weeks like last week, not only for my own benefit, but to demonstrate to others that it's possible. 

Let's stop thinking of ourselves as better/worse off than others 

And start thinking of ourselves as all being connected, and collectively benefiting from individual success!

Reminder about my upcoming workshops 

If you or someone who you is tolerating a role that doesn't light them up, then I know that these days will provide some much needed clarity around what to do about it. Here is the link; I am holding one on Thursday 20 August and one on Friday 16 October. They will be from 9am to 5:30pm and at Spencer on Byron at Takapuna Beach. I am SOO excited because it is going to be an spectacular day, supporting people to get some real clarity on not only what they love/are good at, but how they can make a decent living, sharing that with the world somehow. II think it is amazing value for $495 plus GST

Are you asking for support or doing it hard?

When we are talking with people about  the thought leaders journey, and particularly Business School, we often say 'you are on the wrong side of a whole lot of good work'. Recently for me, that has seemed particularly relevant, whilst I have shifted my business model (a) moving into the corporate market which I have previously untapped and (b) elevating my one on one coaching model from a three month partnership to a deeper, way more impacting six month partnership. 

It has been frustrating doing it hard, and not getting the results!

From time to time I get feedback that I share too much of the vulnerable stuff, but personally, I think there is true value in being open and not obsessed with 'looking good'. My May and (up until this week) June have been pretty paltry. It has been frustrating for me as I work harder than ever, but am not getting in the short term financially rewarded. At a logical level, I know why; I have taken the ball off sharing the value of the offering that I am known for, and people often take longer to decide to commit to a higher value program.

So I did what we should all do in this instance, and called my coach, Sal. As always, she got right to the crux of it and said 'you are doing it all on your own babe! You are doing it hard. You support everyone else around you but you don't ask for support itself'.

I was very surprised at how much that confronted me, and felt way out of my comfort zone. Who am I to ask for support? Talk about the irony of expertise, I teach my clients to value their worth and own it, but at some level, I am still playing 'good girl' and not wanting to put people out. 

When I made the choice to ask for support, and started doing it, some crazy stuff happened! 

It was actually pretty freaky. I spent Monday creating a one day program; something I have been meaning to do forever, and it's simply about getting financially rewarded for doing what you love as an employee, expert or entrepreneur (and finding out what that is if you don't know) which is the work that I truly truly love. I then shared with my coaching community (I love that tribe!) that I would really like their support in filling it, and had a few conversations with other people and actually downright asking for support from them.

The response from them was extraordinary, and there are some really exciting things that have come out of those actions. But it's actually what else happened on Tuesday that astounded me. 

A whole bunch of business I have been waiting to 'land' suddenly was confirmed!

I mean like it was kind of like a record sales day for me - EVER. And this was around the higher value offerings, not what I am known for. I have to confess it felt SOO good. What was going on?

I don't delve into the metaphysical stuff too much, but I think that when I ask for support, I am at some level declaring to the universe that I am 'worth it' so the universe quite literally delivers results to reflect that. It really did feel like there were higher forces at play for me.

So where are you asking for support? Are you doing it on your own, doing it hard? Do you feel a bit icky asking for help? If that is the case, simply share the concern up front;

                             'Hey I am not very good at asking for support, but I think it's something we could all get better at...can you please help me by.....".

And of course, the flip side is by asking yourself how you can serve others on a daily basis. You might even want to do what I do, and carve out some time daily (even 20 minutes), where you do just that. Who can you introduce someone to? What event can you share on Facebook. Is there anyone who needs a 'thinking of you' text or phone call? 

And yes, I am asking for your support too! 

Here is the link to my one day workshops. I am holding one on Thursday 20 August and one on Friday 16 October. They will be from 9am to 5:30pm and at Spencer on Byron at Takapuna Beach. I am SOO excited because it is going to be an amazing day, supporting people to get some real clarity on not only what they love/are good at, but how they can make a decent living, sharing that with the world somehow. If you or someone who you is tolerating a role that doesn't light them up, then I know that this day will provide some much needed clarity around what to do about it. I think it is amazing value for $495 plus GST.

Please know, that I do not normally view my weekly blogs as an avenue to promote my events (above the sign off line anyway :-)) - but this week, I am making an exception. I would be interested to hear your thoughts on that. But in the meantime, go and ask someone for support!!! And of course, thanks again Sal for your amazing support and value you add to my life.

Cheers

Laurel

PS my wonderful business manager Christine has found a way to convert my webinars to Youtube. If you are interested in watching the webinar last week, around illuminating your legacy, then just click on the image to the right. 

Upcoming webinars

Webinar 1 - How to find untapped revenue in your databases for the insurance industry  Wednesday July 1st 5pm NZ time click here to register.

Webinar 2 – What to do with the work you don't like. Thursday July 23rd, 5pm NZ time, click here to register.

Illuminating your legacy

Last night I hosted a webinar (click here to watch the recording - you may see an error, but just click on download or open icon at the top right of the screen and you should be ok, or email me and I will get a copy to you) on getting clear about what you love, and living the life you were born to live. It was like a real coming home for me, because if I have one particular obsession, then it's this; 

So many people are tolerating a job/career that they don't love! 

There are many of us who have simply 'settled'. And at some level, that's ok. Like Lori Gottlieb's controversial book called 'Mr Good Enough' there are certainly some benefits to 'Job Good Enough' (pays the bills, path of least resistance). But isn't it our birthright to find a vocation, something that we feel excited about, and gives us a sense of purpose and contribution?

And as I have mentioned before, in today's global and highly connected world, we have opportunities that have never been available before. The future of work is a completely different landscape to 9 to 5 dross.

So why aren't more of us doing work that we feel really lights us up? 

1. We think that it's as good as it gets, and that everything is FINE. 

Mel Robbins has a great Ted Talk on how to stop screwing yourself over. In it she references the F word, and the F word is FINE. So many of us are disconnected from how crappy things really are (and that's not  just limited to work by the way). I have attached my pre assessment matrix that I send my clients, which is a great way to work out where things aren't going well in your life. It is a worth while exercise to take yourself through this, and get clear on where everything isn't just fine. 

2. We aren't exploring our options.

To change anything requires some investment of time and reflection. Often we know what our favourite perfume or football team is, but we actually don't know what motivates us. There are countless books, coaches and seminars available, which will help navigate the landscape of our hidden desires, but it requires us to take action. We also need to look externally and research what's available, you would be amazed at the exciting ways that some people make a living, but you have to do a bit of digging to find them.

3. We think it's too hard, too risky, we're too tired or too old

What other excuses can you come up with? My wonder mentor Christina Guidotti talks about the excuse addiction. Over the next decade, the number of economically active people aged 65 or over is projected to increase by one third. You are never too old, you can take responsibility around your boundaries to manage your exhaustion levels, and personally I think there's greater risk and it's harder putting up with the status quo!

For most of us,it's the self doubt that's the killer. It sneaks into our minds - 'I can't really do that'I don't have what it takes'. I will shortly be releasing my audio series where I interview people who are doing what they love (thanks to those of you who have agreed to this, and I will be reaching out to others soon, please let me know if you would like to be interviewed). Every one of them managed to create a career out of what they love. Of course they all experienced some self doubt at some stage, but they pushed themselves through it, and are now reaping the benefits! 

The four step process to illuminating your legacy

Download my white paper below for a more detailed overview of these, but essentially, this is what you need to do.

1.  Get to work on clarifying your uniqueness or identity

2.  Work out how you will share that uniqueness;

1. Employee

2. Entrepreneur

3. Expert/educator

4. Enabler (essentially starting a movement)

3.  Get out there and share your value

4.  Get clear on what's NOT working in your life (the assessment matrix is a great start :-))

In my thought leaders tribe there are a few of us who are obsessed with this. Rebecca Morris of Paradigm Shift has published a great blog just this week, on getting out of your day job if you wish.

Jane Anderson's podcast on personal branding has hit # 1 in it's category on iTunes, and is well worth a listen. Branding is one of the most important things to get right, when illuminating your legacy.

If you are not earning money doing what you love, then what are you going to do about it? Until the end of this month, I am offering my three hour clarity session at a special rate. This really helps people to get that first step sorted. Click here for more details, or let me know if you want to talk more about it.

Just do something, life's too short!! 

 

How I manage my emotions with food

Oh no, I swore I would never show food shots on my Facebook page and here I am sharing them on my newsletter!

I have two very different ways of managing my emotions with food.

Version 1 - I can emotionally eat with the best of them. I am at my worst relaxing at the end of a week enjoying neighbourhood drinkies (we should call them something else, it isn't the best look having my four year old saying 'mummy are we having drinkies again tonight?' at daycare). My true vice is chips with dip (or hot chips). I can hoover through those very quickly, and it's accelerated when I am enjoying a couple of big fat glasses of red wine. 
  
I congratulate myself on 'taking it easy', believe that I deserve it, and then usually wake up the next day with a 'food hangover' (and don't beat myself up about it any more). 

The other way is by committing to my latest 'plan' 

all it a detox, or a cleanse or a reset. I have tried everything - high alkaline, no gluten, raw food and most recently the 28 day energy challenge, which the wonderful Gabrielle Dolan from business school set at immersion a couple of weeks back.
  
What I love about this one, is that you have margin of error built into it. For each vice that you abstain from, or good habit you commit to, you get four days off!!! My idea of heaven! I know I will be using up at least one of those credits this week as I celebrate my hubby Geoff's birthday.Whenever I follow the basic rule of eating more veges, less carbs and processed foods, and eat protein wisely, I feel amazing! Emotionally, I feel way more resilient and upbeat. And now I am finally keeping some of the habits when I finish the plan. Interestingly enough, one of the habits I am forming is exercising six days of the week (easy to watch youtube vids first thing in the morning). That is a new commitment and one I am definitely feeling the benefits of. The accountability of reporting on progress to my tribe online is another plus for this one. 
  
I know that some of my friends get a bit bored with the 'oh no thanks, I am not eating wheat/meat/dairy/chippies/whatever, I am on a detox/cleanse/reset', but the reality is, this works for me. And I feel far more focused in my work, and have higher energy levels, which was the reason that Ral introduced it in the first place. 
  
But I equally love zigging as well as zagging. When I feel like it, there is nothing better than enjoying 'substantial nibbles' as they are affectionately called in my hood or fish and chips from up the road. And the key is not to beat myself up even when I do feel the food hangover coming on. Yes, we want to adopt healthy eating habits as a way to amplify our success, but I do  love the saying, moderation in everything, including moderation. 
  
How does food impact your emotion? 

Lead generation is about way more than lead generation

There might be a few of you reading my recent posts, and thinking, 'hang on, Laurel, why are you going on about presence, enthusiasm, comparison, competition, the future of work and even depression? Doesn't sound much like lead generation to me!

Creating your own lead generation campaign is only part of the picture.

I haven't pulled out my lead generation machine for a while, so here it is again! Essentially the guts of his is that if you create a specific campaign for a particular market/offering (or job seeking process!) of yours, and design an end to end customer lifecycle, all around value, generosity and uniqueness, you will get some brilliant lead generation or employment results.

All the 'other stuff' is the fuel that drives the machine!

There is no point owning a Ferrari, when you don't have access to a petrol station. Similarly, I believe that you are not going to get amazing lead gen results, when you are not operating from a powerful state as a human being.
 
I didn't used to share this! I used to do 'Miss Appropriate' and just talk about the cool 'head' stuff like lead generation and thought leadership (as someone pointed out to me, it's called THOUGHT leadership for a reason). I think that for many of us, operating within the intellectual realm is safe and nonthreatening.
 
But the gold comes from looking at the other stuff! As much as I LOVE the Thought Leader's curriculum and elegant lead gen strategies, I know that someone turning up to a sales meeting or interview with passion, conviction and presence (and no lead gen strategy!) is going to nail the person without them EVERY TIME!
 
So, I am going to continue to share my learnings based on all three - clarity (thought leadership), cleverness (lead generation) and conviction (all the other cool stuff). And as far as I am concerned, if YOU focus on all three in your practice, business, or job seeking efforts your  results will shift remarkably.