Being present - It's all about the spaces in between

I recently attended a shamanic healing weekend, where I was privileged enough to meet the incredible Pounamu carver Te Kaha. He had beautiful tattoos on his arm, and when asked about them, he showed us how one half of his arm was covered in a Hawaiian tattoo, where the pattern is in the ink. The other half as covered in a Maori Tattoo, where the pattern was in the spaces between the ink. I think that's a beautiful metaphor for life, it's all about the spaces in between.

Do you create the spaces in your life?

Last week I introduced my presence/enthusiasm model;


The gold is when you are enthusiastic and present. A number of you commented after last week's post about how you realised you can bombard people with your enthusiasm and not be mindful about how it lands. Being present means not only will it land, but you will illuminate the conversation, which will be a far more profound experience for both you and whoever you are having the conversation with. Creating the space is a wonderful way to become more present in life.


So what else can I do to be more present?


Sally Anderson, my amazing coach has taught me so much about this (check out her new website and it has changed my life in more ways than I could ever describe. The Freefall Curriculum is an awareness based training program, which has an experiential element to it, and cuts through people getting present more than any other way I know. It is also totally focused on sustainable change (how many programs do you need to go on before things actually shift?!)  Let me know if you would like to know more about it, and I would be happy to share.

These are the key things that I have taken from both Freefall and my own life experience which I believe ensure you are present. Because we are wonderfully flawed humans, it doesn't mean we operate like this 24 x 7, but it's our true north, something we always come back to (and it feels great!).


You maintain boundaries in your life around fitness, creating space (eg meditation, sport) and wellness. You have a healthy and fulfilling outside work life with strong relationships.


You also keep boundaries in place around relationships. You don’t cross boundaries regarding the way you treat others or allow others to treat you.


You have an unwavering trust in your own success and any system you practice (eg thought leadership, your insurance lead generation process) ; You know that if you do the work, you will get the results, You are always looking at ways of doing things better without upsetting the fundamentals (and have a creative future growth based approach to looking at this). You have a strong faith (not necessarily religious, just your way of understanding their place in the world). you give up the idea that life is a struggle and generally experience a sense of flow.


You stay grounded and don’t rely on the outside world to prove your worth (eg recognition, acknowledgement, material objects), rather you know your worth internally/within yourself and stay out of drama, fear and confusion. This basically means that moment-by-moment you are not dragging something in from your past (eg blame/justification), or demonstrating anxiety/worry or fear towards the future and know the cost of living like that. You have healed anything from your past that triggers you (that is not only another newsletter topic, but an entire book! I am happy to write a newsletter on it, if that would be helpful :-)).


You acknowledge the power of vulnerability, give up looking good, and are prepared to ask the questions that people don’t normally ask and share your story to create connection. You have compassion for yourself, when you invariably ‘fall off the wagon’ relating to any 'mistakes' you might make, and simply jump back on. 


You understand the paradox of freedom that comes from following a brilliant system, taking responsibility for planning, having clarity around goals, measurement and doing what you say you will do. You also are comfortable with the ‘unknown’ and are unattached to the way things might play out. You have an abundance mindset vs a scarcity mindset. You certainly approach life with a playful and light attitude.

And finally, you have a new relationship with the words COMMITMENT and CHOICE. You know that there is no magic pill or advice from outside which will shift results, it is all about you!

 Do you recognise any areas where you are not being present?

I think it is a really good question to ask yourself where you fit in each of the above areas. This is not about being serious and significant, in fact a big thing about being present is being light! Some of you might be thinking, what does this really have to do with being more successful at sales. It has EVERYTHING to do with it! Create the space, be present, and not only enjoy the results that inevitably show up, but a far more enjoyable and rewarding way of living.


Posted on April 23, 2015 .