We have NO idea how work is going to look in the next ten years

Sure automation and Artificial Intelligence (AI) have been around for ages, but today, there is one big difference

Back in the late 1980s when I decided that I didn't want to be a land surveyor (I mean, what was I thinking? Not the best job for an extravert like me), I studied computer science and psychology, and used to go around saying that I was going to be an AI expert. Well two things prevented that happening; 
  
1. I was about 20 years too early 
2. I failed computer science abysmally (I mean writing a page of code to draw a line just wasn't fun) 
  
We have been trying to get the machines to do our work for us for ages, but the difference now, is that robots are finally cost effective enough for us to consider using them. 

I am now obsessed about this stuff!

Having the opportunity to go on The Paul Henry Show recently was of course a great move re my positioning (although being called a 'Brand Specialist', 'Image Mentor' and 'Employment Consultant' might not have been so helpful - click here if you want to see my appearance on the show last week around how NOT to scout for a job whilst still employed). But for me personally, there was another fabulous impact on my life. It got me to research more about the future of work and how automation is going to affect us ( of course, the seed was planted all those years ago). And what I have discovered has been staggering. Here are just a few examples of how things are going to change (and this won't be the last post on this!) - in this instance around distribution. 

• Driverless cars are now a reality. Google have been using them for a while now, and last count at over 1 million miles driven, there were only two accidents (both caused by human error). Think about what this is going to do for taxi drivers (and panel beaters!) Click the image below to watch a short video for an amazing overview of what they have thought about!

• Drones will be able to deliver our parcels, reducing the need for couriers. Click the image below to watch a short video about Amazon's plans! 

There is a bunch of other research available, including the idea that 3D printing will enable products to be manufactured onsite, again disrupting our traditional distribution model (the thing that worries me about 3D printing is the sheer volume of waste that could be created!). 

Is this another one of my bright shiny object distractions?

I am still wondering if this is still a little pie (or pizza :-))in the sky. For example, when looking at drone delivery of pizzas, there is an article from 2013 then nothing since. I am certainly paying attention, and there are so many industries affected (think robotic concierges in Japan, and even front line military robots!). But we do have to think about the social impacts. For a sobering watch on teaching computers human values, watch this Ted Talk from Nick Bostrom, philosopher and technologist.

Definitely food for thought! What do you think, I would love to know! 

Let's face it, we are all messed up in the head!

Being a human being is the most fascinating journey. There are many times when we truly feel the sense of awe and wonder that is present all around this planet, but there are SOOOO many times when we feel freaked out, frantic or fearful, and more often than not, it's about stuff that hasn't even happened yet (and probably won't).

Don't think you are the only one feeling the way that you do

For some reason, when we are feeling in our darker place, we think that everyone else is 'doing fine', and that there is something wrong with us, and us alone. OR we go into denial, and play the 'everything's fine' number, often using drink, drugs or even device time to bury the angst way down deep. And there are CERTAINLY many of us doing that!

The World Health Organisation cites that over 400 million people worldwide suffer from depression and has launched the Mental Health action plan 2013 - 2020. The majority of people do not receive any kind of treatment, particularly in developing countries. It STILL seems to be something that is not openly talked about, although wonderful people like TIm Ferris and our very own John Kirwin are paving the way by bravely sharing their own experiences around depression.

Are you taking care of your own mental wellbeing?

I am not saying that everyone is depressed, but I DO think that many of us experience levels of anxiety, worry and fear that we shouldn't have to tolerate. More often than not it is because our boundaries are out, and we are simply overdoing it. If this stays unchecked, you do risk spiralling into depression (and if you want to know if you are depressed, then a great place to start the enquiry is by taking the simple test here. If you do think that you are already there, please go see your GP straight away, just don't do it alone for a moment more.

Here are some great tips from the wonderful website depression.org.nz (with links to more information on each) on how to manage the glum days;

• Get some exercise
• Keep in touch with your friends
• Sleep well
• Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs
• Relax and reduce stress

I know it sounds basic stuff, but I also know a number of people who are directly affected by depression, and who swear by these strategies.

I think one of the things that has really helped me, has been realising that we are all messed up in the head, to some extent, and it is just one of those tricky things we need to navigate. In the past, my tendency has been to get all dramatic and intense about it, focus on what's not working and play the victim card, feeling completely powerless. Now whenever I get that THUD feeling (usually first thing in the morning, and yes, it still happens), I notice it, acknowledge it, and get more committed to doing the things mentioned in the above bullet points. One other strategy that I love is writing in my gratitude journal every night, it doesn't need to be much, just  a couple of acknowledgements about what has been great about the day. I also have compassion for myself, rather than beating myself up when I feel ungrateful, because that REALLY doesn't help the situation!

Here's to being human, and all of its foibles!!

Why the way I swim is similar to the way I work

I love swimming in the mornings. There is something quite meditative about slipping into  beautiful clear water at an obscenely early time and gliding through the liquid.It is also a nice reflective time for me, as I set some intentions and experience gratitude (or have a satisfying rant to the universe if needed :-)).
 
There are a couple of things about the way I swim which I think are a nifty wee metaphor for how I work.
 
# 1 - I have found a way to do it better
 
For years I was a very slow swimmer and never improved my speed. Quite recently I observed my 8 year old swimming, and noticed he took a breath on every four strokes. I always breathed on every second stroke, so I decided to take instruction from Lucas and do it his way. Not only did my speed improve dramatically but it also really helped my breathing management, and I think it really sets me up for the day. So often we just do things the same way, and not think about it, but it really does pay to have the enquiry 'could I do this a better way'?
 
# 2 - I play hard out, and then pace myself
 
I will swim quite intensely freestyle for five lengths, and then on the sixth length I use breaststroke. It really helps me to mix it up and I can go hard for those few lengths, knowing I will get a wee bit of respite with my breaststroke length.  This is the way I like to operate in my business.
 
I now like so many mums and dads carve my year up into terms. My approach is to play full on during the term, then take time off in the school holidays to be with my family. Just like when I am swimming, I can look forward to the slower pace when I am in the more intensive working period.
 
A wonderful fellow coach, Britta Christiansen and I were talking the other day and she was telling me about her four months on, one month slower approach to work. This resonated with me, and she also feels that you can maintain a busier pace better when you know you have some breathing space coming up.
 
Can you think of where you might be able to chunk your time so you can handle the pace? It might even come down to your daily or weekly schedule. Recently I made the choice to not work every second Monday. My little guy Cam is about to start school and we have a wonderful playdate together on Mondays ( I am still debating whether I keep that day off when he goes to school, my instinct is saying 'yes please'!)

Emails cop some unfair slack

How many times do you hear something along the lines of 'don't be held captive by your email' or 'don't check your email before 11am?' If you listen to commentary on email management, it can seem like emails are just bad, bad, bad!!

Certainly for me, I try to respond to my emails within 24 hours, and that can be tough at times. It only takes a day of being out of office, and suddenly you are overwhelmed with a stack of items that require your response.

 Now I am not a productivity guru, and definitely not an email management expert. My inbox is massive, and I know that from time to time I miss important emails because managing my inbox is not my strength, so apologies to any of you who have felt ignored by me in the past email wise.

So today's newsletter (which you are ironically reading via your email) isn't about how to manage your inbox better, rather how to improve your relationship with emails!

Emails are the primary way that people who support you and your business communicate

Ok, I know that this is super obvious, but I think that in the context of our busy lives we can forget this simple fact.

I know that there are times that I get grumpy about how many emails I have to respond to, and feel annoyed that the time spent on replying is time spent away from the other necessary tasks in my business.

But then I think about it. Responding to emails IS one of the most important parts of my role, because it is all about me communicating with people who matter to me and my business.

Often it just requires a simple reframe from me along the lines of getting present to what a privilege it is to  be communicating with each individual, so I enjoy it, and feel grateful!

And if you have any tips on time of day and how to actually tackle the WHEN do I respond to emails, please let me know!

How you can be more enthusiastic when it doesn't come naturally to you

Two weeks ago I introduced my presence/enthusiasm model (see below) and last week I shared my version of what it takes to be present. Today I will conclude reflection on this model, and look at how you can be more enthusiastic, if that's not your natural state.

What can you do to be more enthusiastic?!

These ideas also apply to people like me who are considered to possess a natural level of enthusiasm (and there are a few of you out there!). Sometimes I am asked how I can remain so enthusiastic day in day out. The truth is that there are certainly times that I feel flat, and anything BUT enthusiastic. I think it is part of the territory of being human. The key is to recognise when you are feeling in a funk, don't beat yourself up, and use whatever techniques you know to shift your state (with self care as mentioned in last week's blog being TOP of the list). Here are some specific ways to ensure you raise the enthusiasm stakes in your daily life. 

UNIQUENESS

You understand your own thought leadership, your own uniqueness. You have clarity around how you can share your thought leadership with others (eg via models, stories and metaphors as per the amazing Thought Leadership program). You use this to position yourself as an authority in selected markets, and practise conviction based selling because of your clarity on their value. This means your specific value is also clear to your chosen prospects and alliances, who you are very selective about. 

PURPOSE

You know your purpose, and why you are drawn to your vocation. You are also committed to ongoing growth, there are no limits you place on yourself. As Dan Sullivan says, you look at what you want rather than what you need. 

FOCUSED LEAD GENERATION

You create focused sales campaigns, with realistic activity targets across the customer life cycle. A key part of these campaigns are the way you get known to people, eg by writing the book, speaking at events, or arranging information evenings (and of course picking up the phone!). 

PLAYFUL

You have a playful approach to activity and target and enrol those around you in the game. You use the principles of visible progress and motivational design (refer Dr Jason Fox’s brilliant work in this area) to literally forward your game day in day out.

You also use the power of curiosity to constantly explore and grow in your chosen specialties.

PLAN AND MEASURE

You understand the value of planning, and are clear on measurement; your monthly, quarterly and yearly goals, (and are realistic about the number of weeks in the year that you can most likely work on your business or practice if you are not an employee). 

WORK TO STRENGTHS

You focus on your strengths (Gallup Strength Finder is a great place to start) and get support where needed. When we work to our strengths, our vocation is way more enjoyable and easy.

And finally, just like last week, you have a new relationship with the words COMMITMENT and CHOICE. It is all about you!

Enthusiasm has magic in it

It doesn't matter what you do, if you are enthusiastic, there is just more of an edge to it. We are so lucky to enjoy freedom and other luxuries that so many don't have. To be enthusiastic in your life is to demonstrate your gratitude for this, and a lot more. But again, have compassion for those times when life doesn't enthuse you, be patient and kind to yourself, and know that you can push the reset button to  becoming a natural cheerleader whenever you choose.

Being present - It's all about the spaces in between

I recently attended a shamanic healing weekend, where I was privileged enough to meet the incredible Pounamu carver Te Kaha. He had beautiful tattoos on his arm, and when asked about them, he showed us how one half of his arm was covered in a Hawaiian tattoo, where the pattern is in the ink. The other half as covered in a Maori Tattoo, where the pattern was in the spaces between the ink. I think that's a beautiful metaphor for life, it's all about the spaces in between.

Do you create the spaces in your life?

Last week I introduced my presence/enthusiasm model;

The gold is when you are enthusiastic and present. A number of you commented after last week's post about how you realised you can bombard people with your enthusiasm and not be mindful about how it lands. Being present means not only will it land, but you will illuminate the conversation, which will be a far more profound experience for both you and whoever you are having the conversation with. Creating the space is a wonderful way to become more present in life.

So what else can I do to be more present?

Sally Anderson, my amazing coach has taught me so much about this (check out her new website www.evolvedleadership.com.au) and it has changed my life in more ways than I could ever describe. The Freefall Curriculum is an awareness based training program, which has an experiential element to it, and cuts through people getting present more than any other way I know. It is also totally focused on sustainable change (how many programs do you need to go on before things actually shift?!)  Let me know if you would like to know more about it, and I would be happy to share.

These are the key things that I have taken from both Freefall and my own life experience which I believe ensure you are present. Because we are wonderfully flawed humans, it doesn't mean we operate like this 24 x 7, but it's our true north, something we always come back to (and it feels great!).

SELF CARE

You maintain boundaries in your life around fitness, creating space (eg meditation, sport) and wellness. You have a healthy and fulfilling outside work life with strong relationships.

HONOUR YOURSELF AND OTHERS

You also keep boundaries in place around relationships. You don’t cross boundaries regarding the way you treat others or allow others to treat you.

TRUST/FAITH

You have an unwavering trust in your own success and any system you practice (eg thought leadership, your insurance lead generation process) ; You know that if you do the work, you will get the results, You are always looking at ways of doing things better without upsetting the fundamentals (and have a creative future growth based approach to looking at this). You have a strong faith (not necessarily religious, just your way of understanding their place in the world). you give up the idea that life is a struggle and generally experience a sense of flow.

INTERNALLY AND ‘NOW’ FOCUSED

You stay grounded and don’t rely on the outside world to prove your worth (eg recognition, acknowledgement, material objects), rather you know your worth internally/within yourself and stay out of drama, fear and confusion. This basically means that moment-by-moment you are not dragging something in from your past (eg blame/justification), or demonstrating anxiety/worry or fear towards the future and know the cost of living like that. You have healed anything from your past that triggers you (that is not only another newsletter topic, but an entire book! I am happy to write a newsletter on it, if that would be helpful :-)).

VULNERABLE

You acknowledge the power of vulnerability, give up looking good, and are prepared to ask the questions that people don’t normally ask and share your story to create connection. You have compassion for yourself, when you invariably ‘fall off the wagon’ relating to any 'mistakes' you might make, and simply jump back on. 

FREE

You understand the paradox of freedom that comes from following a brilliant system, taking responsibility for planning, having clarity around goals, measurement and doing what you say you will do. You also are comfortable with the ‘unknown’ and are unattached to the way things might play out. You have an abundance mindset vs a scarcity mindset. You certainly approach life with a playful and light attitude.

And finally, you have a new relationship with the words COMMITMENT and CHOICE. You know that there is no magic pill or advice from outside which will shift results, it is all about you!

 Do you recognise any areas where you are not being present?

I think it is a really good question to ask yourself where you fit in each of the above areas. This is not about being serious and significant, in fact a big thing about being present is being light! Some of you might be thinking, what does this really have to do with being more successful at sales. It has EVERYTHING to do with it! Create the space, be present, and not only enjoy the results that inevitably show up, but a far more enjoyable and rewarding way of living.

Do you take time to savour a sales conversation?

Whenever I am about to experience a sales meeting, I mentally tell myself, 'keep it slow', savour it, take your time'. That way I don't tend to speak too quickly and either irritate or annoy the other person.

Matt Church, founder of Thought Leader's Business School refers to it as savouring a glass of expensive red wine. I love this metaphor.

One of my strengths is being enthusiastic. People generally like to be around enthusiastic people, and it can be quite infectious. However, have you heard the saying 'your greatest strength is your greatest weakness'? That can be the case with my enthusiasm. Sometimes when I get too carried away with excitement, I rush through a sales conversation, blurt things out, and generally annoy the other person. It's a bit like sculling that beautiful red!

 I think the key is to be enthusiastic AND present

 Refer to the following model;

If you are neither enthusiastic nor present, you will be almost invisible in a sales conversation. If you are enthusiastic but not present, you will be annoying or irritating.

Recently I was on a plane, and sat beside a guy who was clearly passionate about the whiteware products he represented as a sales person. In fact he ended up getting out his tablet and talking at me for a while, without taking a breath. It was a good experience for me to realise how I come across at times.

If you are present but not enthusiastic, you will come across as enlightening, which of course is a good thing.

But I think the gold is when you are present AND enthusiastic, because then you have illuminating sales conversations, and that is where the results will show up.

 So how do you become more present?

We hear this word quite a bit, but what does it actually mean? Well for one, I think creating the space is important, and that's why having a little chat to yourself before you go into a sales meeting is key. It's often about awareness. But I think it is so much more than that too. Next week I will share my thoughts on what it takes to be present, and the following week, I will share what I think you need to do to be enthusiastic (if it's not your default setting!).

Do you play the comparison game?

I have spent a lifetime comparing myself to others. I do wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I am an identical twin. Try having someone in your life who looks like you, sounds like you and has the same upbringing, and not compare!

I sometimes find myself comparing to other people's success, both here and in Australia. The reality is, it sucks! A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I am not a competitive person, which is true, but I am certainly a comparative person! I think the difference is, that when you are competitive, it is generally motivating whereas when you are comparative it can be very demotivating. And as much as we know we shouldn't do it, and it is unconstructive, it still happens from time to time.

Thankfully I have the Freefall curriculum to lift myself out of any funk. Whenever I indulge in feeling inadequate for a little too long, I get clarity on 'what's really going on', shift my state, and choose a more empowering thought process (namely being inspired by the company I keep, how lucky am I to be around such motivating people).

I know that I am not the only one who experiences this; there are some other people I have been speaking to recently, who are feeling disempowered by comparing themselves to others.

 We care way more about what people think than we think we do (or DO we?!)

Whereas we like to think that our own contribution and sense of fulfillment are key drivers for our own success, often it is simply about what others think.

HOWEVER, when looking for some research around this, the key thing that came back was a study recently conducted by Jeep, in conjunction with the launch of their Renegade ( clever people, they are using thought leadership smartly, and the study results have been recounted far and wide across global media). The upshot of the research is that as we get older, we stop worrying so much about what others think. 2000 people were polled on various aspects, and the conclusion is that at around 41 years old, we generally stop worrying about what others think.

That is certainly the case for many aspects of my life. In fact take a look at the following list, and see if you are comfortable doing most of these (many of you like me will be laughing a number 1;  I can't recall the last time I went out on a Friday or Saturday night!).

1. You only go out on a Friday or Saturday night - never both

2. You go to the cinema on your own

3. You'll eat a meal in a restaurant on your own

4. You watch the TV shows you like

5. You play music you like in the car

6. You order the food you like

7. You go make-up free

8. You switch from Radio 1 to Radio 2 (those of you who have hung out in the UK will know what that means)

9. You have embraced your natural hair colour

10. You dance at family parties

Maybe it's time for us to realise that the comparison game well and truly doesn't serve, and start simply enjoying our own path without applying unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

Are you focusing on your strengths and getting supported for everything else?

I have been enjoying reading Dan Sullivan's book '21st Century Agent' recently. Dan is the genius behind Strategic Coach and this book was written by him 20 years ago, but still has wonderful relevance today. Essentially he shows you how to thrive as an entrepreneurial life insurance agent, by embracing the imminent changes in the industry.

In this book he recommends that we focus on what we are good at, and get people who are better than us at the other stuff to do that!

Think about top entertainers or sports stars. Do they organise the venue, sweep the floor or sell tickets? In the earlier stage of their careers, let's face it, they probably did everything, but once they reach a certain level, then it makes sense to delegate.

 As six year olds, we received some well meaning bad advice!

 That advice was 'work on your weaknesses'. Whilst there needs to be focus on upskilling of the basics, Dan rightfully claims that if you spend your whole life working on your weaknesses, by the end of your life, you will have a lot of really strong weaknesses!

He then says that the truth is just the opposite. The secret to success in life is to focus entirely on your strengths, and delegate your weaknesses to highly skilled people who are strong where you are weak.

Geoff and I are in the final stages of recruiting our first virtual assistant (VA). It has been along time in the making, and I am thrilled about how much time I am going to be freed up from admin and detailed tasks, which I am not very good at. Instead I will be doing what I do best (and should be doing!) which is thinking, selling and delivering.

I think the question is, how MUCH do you focus on your weaknesses? Let's face it, we probably need to know how to master the basics of any essential life skill. But let others do you a favour, and allow them to support you with their expertise, when you have the option.

How much of a competitive streak do you have?

I read a response by Serena Willams recently, when she was asked what was most important to her;

 "Being the best at what you do. That's all i really care about. My whole goal in life was just to be the best at what I do."

 I do not have the same relentless drive

 It got me thinking about what's important to me (over and above everything else), and actually, being the absolute best at what I do isn't it. Sure, I want to be masterful at my craft and leave my legacy behind, but being 'THE BEST' is not the big driver for me. This feels a bit like a 'coming out' blog for me, and with it comes a bit of relief. I don't want to come across as someone who doesn't want to achieve amazing results in my life, because of course I do. But to me, being 'the best' means being better than everyone else, and quite frankly, I don't really care. I care about enjoying any race and competition, and if I come first, then that's a great bonus.

 I have never been massively competitive. During our childhood, Josie and I weren't encouraged to play sport, either formally or even socially, and watching sport isn't a big part of my life now. While other friends really like to win even a spontaneous running race at a birthday party, I am not interested (and wouldn't want to be in a race in the first place).

 Likewise, my dear son Lucas has no interest whatsoever in playing team sports. He loves individual sports like golf and swimming, and simply enjoys the time he spends doing them. His best buddy on the other hand just loves all sports, and at 7 years old watches reruns of All Blacks games!

Watching New Zealand win the semi final of the Cricket world cup this week was inspiring. What really got me was that the global audience is estimated at over one billion people! How do you think the extraordinary Grant Elliot felt under that pressure? How do you think he feels now? Surely, his competitive streak is a big reason for his success.

There is something admirable about a relentless focus on winning. I sometimes wonder where I would be if I had a stronger focus on it myself. I also wonder how much is to do with comparison, which I will go into next week. It may simply be a trait that people are born with.

 Let's face it, someone with a healthy competitive streak may do better in sales than someone who doesn't. At the risk of sounding defeatist I just don't think that I can make myself more competitive than I am. How about you?

Are you more committed to someone else's growth than they are?

If you are a coach, author, speaker or trainer, you probably feel a bit like me, and want to see others in your personal and professional life experience fulfillment and freedom. I love Sally Anderson's Freefall curriculum, and am constantly getting feedback when I facilitate it, about how much more clarity and how much easier life occurs for people, once they get the distinctions.

It can be easy to get carried away with evangelising your message and particularly to those who are close to you,but let's face it, once you have shared it once or twice, and they haven't 'taken the bait, then, just let them be!!

 Are you banging on to others endlessly, and trying to fix them?

I love saying to people, when I am in a sales conversation, and I see them a little or a lot disconnected to their potential " I feel more committed to your success than you are"! It is a little controversial, but when people are in what we call 'default', then often their own success is something that they simply can't see.

But don't take this too far. Make an unattached request, and then be comfortable with how they respond!

Just because you think that they may benefit from taking a course of action, doesn't mean that they do. And in many instances, they are perfectly happy with the way things are. OR they might not be happy with the way things are, but haven't yet made the decision to do anything about it, and that is perfectly ok.

I must confess this is a lesson that I have to keep learning. There are probably a few people reading this piece who agree!

I think the key thing is to give up the idea that there is anything wrong, and accept what is. Sometimes it can be hard, particularly with those who are close to you,

This is where nurture (or the 'court them' stage in my lead generation machine) is so important when it comes to prospects. Just keep in touch with them from time to time, and continue to give them value.

 And with those who are not prospects but your loved ones? How about you just try, even for a month, not to fix them?! JUST LET THEM BE!!!

Are you a course and/or coach junkie?

Do you spend lots of money investing in your development?

Talk about taking one to know one; I spend alot of money in upskilling myself! In fact I was once talking with Jill Porter from Financial Clarity about overspending. It's something I have never done with clothes, or personal items, but I certainly have the tendency to do it with courses and coaches.

Here is a great quote from Brian Tracey;

 “Invest three percent of your income in yourself (self-development) in order to guarantee your future.”  

Personally, I think he is right, it is really the best investment you can make in my opinion. And it is not surprising that I have become a thought leader's mentor, because thought leaders really do need to be constantly upskilling to get ahead in their game (although often this is more through reading than attending courses).

 But the question is, are you getting the returns you expected?

In a number of cases, I believe that the answer is 'No'. I know that has been the case for myself in the past too, and I am sad to confess that some of my own clients don't get the results either. 

So why is this happening? I think there are 5 reasons, and more than one might apply to you;

1. You don't do the work required.

I once wrote a blog about the fact that is what you do in between the coaching sessions that counts. It really is important to apply the learnings either between coaching sessions or once you get off that inevitable high following a seminar.

2. You do the work required, but do something different or ‘your way’.

Most curricula or coachings are based on sound principles which work when applied. They are being constantly honed based on feedback and results, so you can be pretty sure that the way it is laid out, is the optimal way to achieve what is professed.

However, sometimes we think we know better, and do our own version of work. For example, in the thought leader's curriculum, we suggest you don't commercialise a leveragable opportunity (eg online program) until you are earning at Red Belt ($600K per annum) but so many people ignore this and introduce one earlier (conveniently distracting themselves from getting out there and selling). 

3. You get yourself in the way

If you haven't done the work on yourself, and believe that you are worthy of success, and doing what you love, you will most likely sabotage and not create the results. With my 'willy wonka' lead generation machine, I say to clients that they can build the most beautiful machine, but the fuel that makes their machine go is their conviction.

4. You give up before the results start really showing up

Last week I talked about playful patience. I remember when I was quite early on the thought leader's journey, and was frustrated that I wasn't getting results.  I connected with Christina Guidotti through the online community, and I remember her saying 'just keep going'! Sometimes we don't get the results we want, but it might just take a little bit more time, and a slight course correction to get there.

Don't fall into the temptation of simply buying into another program, before you have got results from the existing one! For those of us who like 'bright shiny objects' this is particularly relevant. Personally, I think you should only be focusing on one coach or program at a time, in order to be able to go deep enough to produce a return.

5. The program isn’t that good.

Let's face it, becoming an expert is pretty popular, especially an online one. As much as I genuinely believe that everyone has something that they can share with others for commercial success, many people simply don't unpack what they know properly. This can confuse those who have purchased their courses or coaching. It requires quite a bit more than saying, hey, here's what I know, here's what I have earned and you do this, and you will earn the same too. 

When you are next considering purchasing a course or coach, ask yourself 1. have I got the most out of any course I am currently undertaking (before I give it up) and 2. how can I be sure that this new program will work? I do think that gut feeling is important as is asking to connect with others who have completed the program to date.

But the most important question to ask yourself is, 3. Am I prepared to do what it takes (including any work on myself) to make sure I get the results?

Be playfully patient - things don't always land as soon as you like

I attended the incredible Thought Leader's Business School last week in Sydney. As usual, it was an extraordinarily inspiring experience, and I feel humbled to not only be part of it, but also be a mentor.

 For some reason this immersion seemed to confront more people than normal, and I think a key reason for this is that people are getting more present to what they are tolerating. Why? Because now that Business School is one year old, students are really getting into the swing of things, and a good number are just smashing through their goals, and flying through the belts (for each extra $10,000 a month that you earn, you move up a belt, starting at $10,000 for white belt, and 'graduating' at black belt, which is $60,000 a month).

 When students see others succeeding, they ask themselves why they aren't. For some, the answer is simple; they are not doing the work; that is, they are not unpacking their thought leadership and having the sales conversations that they need.

 However, sometimes it is just a question of time. When I had the privilege of being mentored by Glenn Ricketts,he said to me that any period of sales intensity, would most likely only start producing results three to six months later. It's kind of like the good old sales cliche of sowing the seeds, then willing the plants to grow.

 One wonderful student who has SO been doing the work was in tears on the last day, just so frustrated that her results weren't stronger (they were actually pretty good!). She had attended a large number of sales meetings, and written some brilliant white papers, but was doing a good job of beating herself up. I put money on the fact that this quarter is going to be better for her, because her thought leadership is brilliant, and I know she is going to be doing even more activity this time around.

 Sometimes we need to be playfully patient

 There is some real grace around people who can be patient, and be a little playful about it. Don't get all bent out of shape, and make the waiting game even harder. Play a little game around 'wouldn't it be nice if I created X results by Y', but if that doesn't show up, remember that sometimes things just take a little more time.

 Another student had generated a pretty small amount of sales in the quarter, in spite of initiating significant activity around sales meetings and approaches. On the last day before business school, she secured 15 times as much business as her total quarter to that point! What I loved about observing her journey, was that she was very relaxed around it and surrendered to the results coming in.

If you find yourself beating yourself up, then take a breath, ask yourself if you have done what you need, and if the answer is yes, then just trust that the results will show up in time. And if you HAVEN'T done the work, just acknowledge that, don't be hard on yourself, and shift your activity going forward. It really is that simple.

How do you manage your diary?

What is your relationship with time?

I loved a quote I saw recently by Robin Sharma;

‘Show me your schedule and I’ll show you your values’

We all have heard about how time is our most precious asset, and how we all have the same hours in the day, it’s what we do with them that counts.

I think this really does come down to two basic principles; 1. Being clever with your time and 2.  diary management. 

1. Being clever with your time 

Neen James, a thought leader partner based in the US has a wonderful concept called “Folding Time”. How can you literally ‘fold’ time so that you get twice as much done in the same amount of time?

One example of how I do this, is that when I am walking to or from my office, I am either on the phone connecting with the people I need to, or listening to webinars or online programs (I am essentially an auditory learner, and don’t need to see the pictures to get a handle on what’s being discussed).

I think we also can bloat time. Recently I was trying to pop a Facebook advert up around a webinar I am hosting, and before I knew it, over an hour had passed, and I was really no closer to having the advert published. This again demonstrates the value of hiring someone else to do things you don’t particularly like.

2. Diary management

Christina Guidotti, my wonderful mentor, is an absolute powerhouse in productivity. I must confess I used to think that strict diary management and particularly color-coded diary management was a little bit anal but keeping a really, really clear idea on how I am spending my time has been fundamental to my success.Christina has helped me see that, and to use my diary, powerfully, so that I am spending focused time getting more done, and managing my days effectively,

One example of this, is that I now have two delivery days for my one on one clients, Wednesdays and Thursdays. On these days, I have back-to-back meetings with my wonderful clients. (with around a 30 minute buffer between each appointment, depending on how well I stick to the agreed hour). At the end of these days, I feel so energized, as those of you who also coach will know. I do make sure that my first appointment isn’t until 10am, so I can spend beforehand setting up my day.

On the other days, I am focused purely on selling, or working on my practice, rather than delivery. It wasn’t always this way; I used to have my coaching appointments scattered throughout the week, but it meant that I found myself not having decent carved out timeframes to really get other stuff done.

Have a think about the way that you work, and consider how you can be clever with your time, and manage your diary.

The importance of belly to belly conversations

You've all heard it before. We love to work with people we like. One of the easiest ways to work out that you like that person is with a face-to-face, or what we call belly-to-belly conversations.

Of course, like me, you may work with people offshore. In that instance, yes, obviously you need to talk via the telephone. Even better would be a program like Skype or Gotowebinar where at least you can literally eyeball each other! This might also be a good alternative if you are tight for time, as remote meetings save on travel and parking time.

However, if you are working with people locally then you have a far higher chance of converting any leads if you meet up with them face to face. I love how much more personal it is, more relaxed and I do believe you can be more present with the other person when they are right next to you.

Also, since I moved into an office, I have found that I have saved myself more than just time, when people are happy to come visit me (which they usually are). I realise just how much money, energy and time I was spending flitting from cafe to cafe before I took the plunge and committed to monthly rent. I think it also positions you nicely, demonstrating that you are 'grown up' enough to work from an office. Don't get me wrong, I happily worked from home for the best part of 10 years. But for lead conversions, I think belly to belly, in an office trumps all!

Nice girls don't get sales

Have you been playing nice all your life?

I love Ontology, which is the study of what it is to be human. A key principle of ontology is that we each suffer three primary events in our childhood, which impact our behaviour throughout our lives. These traumatic events occur typically during the ages of 3-5, 5-12 and 12-21. Nobody goes through childhood unscathed, and there is no competition regarding how tragic an event is.

When these events occur, we subconsciously make a decision about ourselves, which is a bit like a life sentence. For example, if we remember our mum getting all caught up in our little sister or brother, when they get home from the hospital, and we feel like we are being ignored , then we might decide ‘ I am alone’ or even ‘ I am invisible’. 

What invariably happens is that we almost pre-program ourselves to experience events throughout our life to keep that in place, which is why we call it a sentence. For example, if we subconsciously think that we are alone, then we will have a tendency to sabotage relationships and continue to feel that aloneness throughout our lives. We also adopt compensating behaviors. Again in the ‘I am alone’ example, we might come across as off handish and cold to people, because at some level, we don’t feel we deserve to get close to others.

One sentence that I have dished out on myself over the years is 'I am bad'. The incident that I have specifically related this to was not an overly dramatic one, but, like anything, it has been about what I have made it mean, and I have spent my life overcompensating and trying to be a 'good girl'; to practice ‘niceness’ to the extreme, and to constantly behave like everything is fine. I look back at earlier versions of myself and cringe about how eager I was to please; in fact I was quite simply desperate to be pleased.

This would often result in me giving far too much away in my sales visits.

I used to go above and beyond when meeting with new prospects and how it never did me any good. If I was meeting up with someone to discuss their lead gen strategy, I would listen intently to their present concerns, and contribute full out in the session, with suggestions from my years and years of business experience and research. But that wasn't enough for me; I would record the whole session on my iPhone, listen to it at a later date, create a multi-paged recommendations document, including doing some research on their industry, and then send it to them (and no, this was not chargeable work). Can you imagine how much time I spent doing this?

The feedback I got was heartwarming and extraordinary, which of course the pleaser in me loved. But this habit of giving TOO much away impacted my commercial return. I gave away the farm! There was no longer a perceived need to engage me.

Quite simply I needed to savvy up. I needed to become a little bit more streetwise and stop being so nice, and stop pretending everything was just lovely. Obviously, being nice is a wonderful trait at some level, but it needs to come from being in your power, rather than from a desperate little girl who is obsessed with proving that she isn’t bad.

Watch my Dragon's Den appearance (and national humiliation)

Did you know I once tried to launch a pet coffin business called 4 Feet Under (humiliating  video evidence below)?

Seriously, isn't that the best name for a pet coffin company? We owned a cardboard box company at the time, and I thought it would be a great way to increase sales.

For some reason (I mean, as one of the dragons actually asked - what was I thinking?), I decided to enter Dragon's Den NZ. After a couple of 'auditions' and 'signing away my moral rights', I was given the 'opportunity of a lifetime' and told I would be pitching to the dragons. The crazy thing is that I was asked to turn up with  virtually no notice, and my company, 4 Feet Under hadn't even launched yet.

Why am I confessing to this now?

(1) There is alot of talk about Shark Tank soon to be launched on Channel 10 in Australia. My wonderful friend and long term mentor Naomi Simson is one of the sharks, and I can't wait to see her in action. Have a look at her latest blog; she could be talking directly to me (and fill out her survey while you are there; I LOVE RedBalloon!).

 (2) For the first time in my adult life, I have adopted a pet. Sparky is a gorgeous wee tabby we picked up from the SPCA and already he is well entrenched in our family life. I am actually a great big sook when it comes to animals, and this is a whole new level of vulnerability for me, as I open my heart to let a highly curious wee purring feline in. He has been pretty sick in his first little bit of time with us (thankfully all recovered now) and I started thinking about what a massively sad thing pet death can be.

 Both my Dragon's Den pitch and the company failed miserably

Just as Naomi identifies in her blog, I was one of those contestants who was woefully unprepared. I look at the numbers I basically plucked out of the air and shared with the nation, and cringe.

What's more, even by the time the show aired, I was pregnant with Lucas, already operating my sales recruitment company, and the wonderful business partner I was relying on to support me with the massive amount of work needed to get it up and running, couldn't end up committing. In order to make it commercially viable (let's face it, there is thankfully not a lot of 'repeat business' in pet death) the idea was to go hard and basically claim the pet bereavement industry globally. Essentially it was  doomed even at time of launching.

 And BOY those dragons were hard on me! I am sure Naomi and her team won't treat the contestants like this.

 At Thought Leaders Business School, we have a very healthy relationship with failure. At the time, it was pretty mortifying, but there is a great deal I learned from the experience;

• The support I received from friends and family was incredible, I felt very loved
• It shook up the tree a bit for old contacts, people reconnected with me from various previous chapters in my life, after seeing the show (even as recently as 8 years ago, there was no Facebook to simply look people up)
• Whenever I am about to present in front of a room, and get nervous, I remember that I managed to keep my cool in front of the toughest audience.
• TV shows really do edit like crazy, there are some sequences in the video where things appear different than they actually were.
• One lovely person tracked me down, who was about to put his pet down, and he wanted a box (we hadn't even gone into production, so he got one of the prototypes, which cost us around $100 to make!). We met at a corporate office car park; I gave him the box, he gave me $20 and a couple of pictures of his cat, then sent me a beautiful thank you note afterwards, with a picture of the coffin once his family had decorated it. This truly touched me, and at least I made a difference in one family's life.
• I got reminded of the 'need to be liked/look at me' side of my personality; now whenever I get an opportunity to be featured on national TV or media (and there's one coming up :-)), I think a bit more about what it could do to my brand.

Ok, here goes, it's around 8 minutes long, so feel free to watch (or not!) ...

I would love to hear about any similar experiences you may have had on your journey! Let's celebrate giving something a go. 

Oh, and  I think I still own the trademark (nationally) so if you feel so inclined to assume the mantle of pet death, then let me know, I would love to see someone take it and run with it!

If you are interested in finding out more about selling your thoughts as a thought leader (becoming a professional speaker, author, trainer, mentor, facilitator or coach), please go to my website , where there is information on my private mentoring program AND the amazing Thought Leader's Business School.

NEWSFLASH my new book Lead Generation - 21st Century strategies to ignite your sales will be available for purchase in a week! 

Being overly enthusiastic; Your inner Energizer® Bunny

Now, this newsletter only applies to people with extraordinarily high energetic personalities like myself.

Sometimes I get so carried away, speak so fast and I’m so loud that I simply put people off. When I speak loudly and quickly, I can become breathless and hardly make any sense. People find that it’s a struggle to keep up, and you can imagine it isn’t really a great way to be successful at sales.

 This applies to both face-to-face conversations and to being on the phone. I remember once when ringing a prospect (I can’t even remember which product or service I was selling at the time) and basically blurted out “Hi, My name is Laurel and I’ve called to talk to you about X and I was wondering if you ever feel Y and isn’t it interesting about Z?”

 There was silence at the other end of the phone and then a fit of laughter. He basically replied by mocking me and creating a sound that I can’t write, but it sounded something like that sound you used to get when you accidently rang a fax line!

It might sound cruel, but he actually did me a favor. People can find over enthusiasm, fast and loud talking exhausting. One thing that helps me use my energy and enthusiasm powerfully is breathing. I need to be simply more present. Suddenly that level of enthusiasm is way more powerful than the breathless excitable one.

 Have you ever considered becoming a coach?

 As many of you know, I am a Freefall Certified Coach, and have completed a transformational curriculum under the extraordinary tutelage of Sally Anderson.  I am thrilled that my community of coaches is now being enriched with a new intake commencing in two weeks (first immersion 13, 14, 15 February). Becoming a Freefall coach is absolutely the best thing I have ever done; well, that and discovering the Thought Leader's community, which by the way, I most likely would never have done without the unconditional advocacy that Sally has for Thought Leaders.  My life is unrecognisable from pre-certification, and I can't wait to witness the changes in the lives of those who are about to commence this journey.

 Would you like to explore this for yourself? This is not solely to 'set yourself up as a coach', it is extremely powerful for anyone in any kind of leadership or entrepreneurial position. Check out more details here, and don't let the short lead time turn you off. I actually commenced the program, AFTER the first immersion weekend! Not recommended, but that was when I felt called. And this is certainly something you get called to, not sold on! I am always happy to have a conversation about it, so just let me (or Sal) know if you would like to know more.

Before and after pics; my intriguing design experiment

I have been a design slob in the past. Call me a little bit sloppy, but I have often just not got around to putting the final polish on things, and my projects sometimes have that half done look about them.

The worst example of this has been when I have spent hours knitting a jersey, then never gotten around to sewing it up! That's just wrong! 

It is also the case for my marketing material with my practice. Not so much that I don't finish things, but I have compromised on the quality, and used the various (and ridiculously cheap) online services like Fiverr to pretty up my stuff.

Getting mentoring from the uber design friendly Dr Jason Fox changed all that for me! Under his guidance, I engaged the brilliant Jaxzyn from Gold Coast to create my lead generation machine (you can see it on my book cover below). This machine has been responsible for taking my practice to another level, and is a key piece of my intellectual property.

I have continued to opt for Fiverr on an ad hoc basis, but it has always felt a little like I am copping out. So when I wanted to spruce up my book cover, I engaged the services of the delightful and local Chris Washer. He has immediately understood who I am, and created what I think is some amazing work for me; I have included two examples below;

Exhibit A - book cover before

Now I must confess when I got this completed by Fiverr in a rush to meet my self imposed deadline for having a copy of my book in my hand, I was quite excited!

But seriously, brown? Like someone commented, it looks more like 19th Century Lead Generation!

Exhibit B- book cover after

 Look at the difference! Bright, fun and eye catching.  I think the best thing about this is that I feel really proud of it.

 This I think exudes quality, and brings some beautiful design elements into a topic, which let's face it, can sometimes be a bit dry.

Exhibit C - postcard before

 The thing the really intrigues me about this version  is the bubbles; what's going on with them?? This never saw the light of day, but maybe in the past I would have settled....

Exhibit D - postcard after

 Voila! Look at this; professional, slick, and again something I will be proud to distribute.

 Postcards are great; you can send them with say your book or white paper, but you can also use them instead of a business card.

I am very excited about how my branding is being positioned more powerfully now, and particularly of my book, which will be published in the next couple of weeks! Have a think about where design fits in your business or practice; I promise there is magic in it. And let me know if you want Chris' details!

Go on, buy a piece of jewellery to honour a commitment!

Have you ever bought a piece of jewellery to remind yourself about something important to you? It's a great way to  you present and focused on a particular goal. 

Essentially by wearing the piece of jewellery, it keeps you aware, and increases the chance of achievement of that commitment. It's almost like a road sign; we subconsciously adhere to speed signs, and it increases our likelihood of getting to our destination!

When I became a Thought Leader mentor, nearly 18 months ago, I purchased a beautiful pink tiger's eye ring in Manly. The key value of mine that came out of an exercise with the remarkable Michael Henderson was presence/ being. This ring, which I wear daily, does a pretty good job of reminding me to be present, most of the time.

The Mockingjay Brooch, Hunger Games 

Katniss, the heroine, wears a brooch of a Mockingjay, which is a bird that evolved against the odds in the novels. They represent resistance and rebellion, and the brooch is a significant artefact in the story.

Of course the most well known commitment piece of jewellery is the wedding ring 

In Western society, we don't place much emphasis on artefacts, why not create some of your own and enjoy watching the magic happen?